Well, we finally got out the door early enough this year to actually DO some of the things the zoo has for people while they are there in the morning.
One of the things I've been wanting Kenzie to get a chance to do is feed the giraffes and see one of the elephants get washed. Best part is that they allowed people to come up and touch the elephant. That was an awesome experience. Her skin, although tough, was alot more pliant and softer than I had imagined it would be. Definitely worth doing. Here are some short clips of the day.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The best age for a child (IMO)
Aaaaaahhhh! I love children. Especially when they are at a certain age...
Under a year, they are cute, but there's not a lot I can interact with. They are still learning - how to talk, how to walk, and what will get your attention.
But from one to two years old... even the temper tantrums are easy to deal with (I usually chuckle through them, but never give in to a tantrum). But at this age, they are really showing their personality, and that spark of learning seems to just ignite into a wildfire. The innocence, the wonder, the abandon of just being a child. I love it.
Then they get that language thing under control, and they learn to argue. I'm not experienced enough to know how to stand firm without arguing. This morning's episode went like this....
Me: Ok, let's go. You can't take two [stuffed] animals to daycare.
Choose one.
K: But mommy, I need my backpack. [That way she can stuff
both animals into the backpack and take both at the same time.]
Me: Sorry, but we have to go now.
K: [Tears at her eyes] But I want my backpack.
Me: You should have thought of that when you were running
around playing and not finding your shoes like I asked
you to earlier.
K: [Now firmly stated - no tears.] I want my backpack.
Me: No. Let's go. C'mon!
K: I want my back pack. [More backbone with this statement.]
Me: OK, see you later. Have fun today. [Start walking towards the garage door. Understand, daddy is upstairs getting ready for work, so I am NOT intending to leave her alone at home.]
K: OK mommy. [Hurries to catch up and takes the largest of
the stuffed animals with her.]
One of these days, she's not going to fall for the "see you later" routine, and she'll be smart enough to call my bluff. Wonder what I'll come up with then.
I am such a mean mommy.
Under a year, they are cute, but there's not a lot I can interact with. They are still learning - how to talk, how to walk, and what will get your attention.
But from one to two years old... even the temper tantrums are easy to deal with (I usually chuckle through them, but never give in to a tantrum). But at this age, they are really showing their personality, and that spark of learning seems to just ignite into a wildfire. The innocence, the wonder, the abandon of just being a child. I love it.
Then they get that language thing under control, and they learn to argue. I'm not experienced enough to know how to stand firm without arguing. This morning's episode went like this....
Me: Ok, let's go. You can't take two [stuffed] animals to daycare.
Choose one.
K: But mommy, I need my backpack. [That way she can stuff
both animals into the backpack and take both at the same time.]
Me: Sorry, but we have to go now.
K: [Tears at her eyes] But I want my backpack.
Me: You should have thought of that when you were running
around playing and not finding your shoes like I asked
you to earlier.
K: [Now firmly stated - no tears.] I want my backpack.
Me: No. Let's go. C'mon!
K: I want my back pack. [More backbone with this statement.]
Me: OK, see you later. Have fun today. [Start walking towards the garage door. Understand, daddy is upstairs getting ready for work, so I am NOT intending to leave her alone at home.]
K: OK mommy. [Hurries to catch up and takes the largest of
the stuffed animals with her.]
One of these days, she's not going to fall for the "see you later" routine, and she'll be smart enough to call my bluff. Wonder what I'll come up with then.
I am such a mean mommy.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Words of wisdom
Back when my father was lying in a hospital bed dying from complications caused by his diabetes and God only knows what else, my mother had a moment of clarity and went to a lawyer to have them draw up a Durable General Power of Attorney for herself. She appointed me as her Attorney in Fact.
This instrument basically gave me the power to handle her affairs when she would be unable to - to pay bills, contract with service and care providers, sell or purchase assets for her, make arrangements for her medical care and general welfare - anything that might happen where she was not able to do these things for herself.
I would encourage anyone who is elderly and has an estate that would need looking after or concerns that they might be in a position someday where they physically or mentally could not make decisions or manage their general health and welfare issues to create this power of attorney with someone you trust. Emphasis on TRUST... because it could be used by someone who would be unscrupulous and take advantage of your vulnerability.
I am grateful that my mother trusted me. I know Dad had some influence regarding this. She hasn't always used me as a sounding board for everything she's done, but she knows I will be straight with her and that I won't try to cheat her of her money or other assets.
I know she is depending on me to look out for her. And I don't take that trust lightly.
I guess I'm now of that generation where I'm "between". I care for my 4 year old daughter, and my 72 year old mother. I am hoping that the elderly one will be independent before the younger one is.
This instrument basically gave me the power to handle her affairs when she would be unable to - to pay bills, contract with service and care providers, sell or purchase assets for her, make arrangements for her medical care and general welfare - anything that might happen where she was not able to do these things for herself.
I would encourage anyone who is elderly and has an estate that would need looking after or concerns that they might be in a position someday where they physically or mentally could not make decisions or manage their general health and welfare issues to create this power of attorney with someone you trust. Emphasis on TRUST... because it could be used by someone who would be unscrupulous and take advantage of your vulnerability.
I am grateful that my mother trusted me. I know Dad had some influence regarding this. She hasn't always used me as a sounding board for everything she's done, but she knows I will be straight with her and that I won't try to cheat her of her money or other assets.
I know she is depending on me to look out for her. And I don't take that trust lightly.
I guess I'm now of that generation where I'm "between". I care for my 4 year old daughter, and my 72 year old mother. I am hoping that the elderly one will be independent before the younger one is.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Need to change a remark I made
Found out last night that the brother whom I called a "self-centered prick" DID go see mom on Sunday evening. However, I will temper that with the fact that his wife's youngest son is in Riley hospital - so they were in Indy anyway. I'm just glad he went to see her... I know it means a lot to her to have friends and family there.
Monday, April 16, 2007
The responsibilitiy of the children
First, thanks to everyone who prayed for my mother.
I went on Saturday to see mom, with Kenzie in tow. That day was weird, because when I walked in, mom seemed to be in a fog. Her best and oldest friend was there as well has her neighbor, who was also a good friend to mom. They didn' tell me until later, but they also noticed what I noticed throughout the day. Mom wasn't quite herself.
She kept asking to be taken up to her room. I kept telling her she was in her room, to which she would say, "No I'm not! My room is upstairs across the hall." Then she would say that she wanted to get her feet off of the ottoman, or to stand up out of her chair. She was lying in her hospital bed.
She kept asking why she was there. (You had surgery on your heart, mom. To which she would reply "I did?") And then wanted to know why I was there. (Because you had surgery on your heart, mom.) And then began scolding me later (why is Kenzie still up? She should be in bed right now!) Uh, mom... it's 4:10 in the afternoon. It's alright that she's awake right now.
She knew what year it was, but not the month. She knew she what hospital she was at, but not where it was located. She didn't know what floor she was on.
She also wanted to tell me that they had moved her all over the hospital and she's had several rooms before this one. (No, they had you in SICU and then moved you to this room - those are the only two rooms you've had.) Like I said, Saturday, Mom was in a fog.
Worse yet... the nurse had her sitting up in a chair and told mom that she was to sit there and she'd eat her supper there and wouldn't be allowed to get back into bed until after she ate supper. And, if she needed anything, she was to buzz the nurse. Mom sat there for about 10 minutes and then said, "I'm getting back into bed."
I told her she was supposed to sit there until after she ate supper, but she got mad and said again she was going to get back into bed, she was tired of sitting up. I told her if she wanted to do anything, she had to buzz the nurse, and I gave her the remote so she could do that.
The nurse came in and told her the same thing - she couldn't get up on her own and she had to sit there. The nurse wasn't being mean. Mom had to sit up to get her strength built up - she couldn't just lay there all day long and sleep. She'd get pneumonia for sure.
But Sunday was different. I walked in and saw immediately she was back to her old self (more or less) and at least she had her wits about her. But she's still not able to do much walking. Her arthritic knees are hurting so badly that it's hard for her to walk right now. And she's not allowed to pull herself up, she is supposed to hold on to a pillow in front of her and the nurses are supposed to help her get up (at least at this point). But darned if she doesn't keep trying to pull herself up. If she doesn't break the sternum, she's going to warp it. I'm scared she'll strain so hard that she'll rip the bypasses loose and she'll bleed to death.
Well, here's the proof she's on the mend. Hey, not bad looking for 72 years old!
Now I am responsible for trying to find her a facility where she can get extra care beyond the hospital. They all agree she isn't ready to go home yet (not when she can only take 2" steps and it takes her 5 minutes to walk 8 feet to the toilet, and that's with help). I never knew how much work and worry would go into this - but I have to get her into a place where they can do sub-acute physical therapy for her. She has to be able to get up and walk on her own, and to fix meals for herself or drive or whatever. Trouble is, I want her down here and there are no rooms currently available in the good facilites. I'm praying that something opens up so that she can be here and near family.
On another note, Saturday evening I called both my brothers to let them know how mom was doing and asked them to give her a call at the hospital. Kenzie got to talk with both of them and told them about the tube that was allowing blood to drain from the operating site (she said "They sucked blood out of Memaw!")
One brother lives in the same town as I do, and he won't take the time to go see her. Hmmmm.... the words "self-centered prick" comes to mind. I'm sure he's still mad at Mom because she told him if he got in trouble either financially or with the law again, she wasn't going to bail him out any more and not to ask her for any more money. Both she and Dad had bailed him out of trouble so many times it's ridiculous.
The other brother lives in Seattle, Washington, so it would be a little harder for him to make it. But the least they could do would be to call her and talk with her. Even just for 10 minutes. She would love to hear from them.
This morning Kenzie was particularly quiet. I asked her, "Were you afraid of Memaw at the hospital?"
She said yes. I asked her if it was because she'd had an operation and had all the tubes coming out of her and the fact that she had a big cut on her. She said yes, and then,
"Why did Memaw have to be cut open?"
"Because they did an operation on her heart. She had a bad heart and they had to fix it."
"Because she didn't take care of herself? Like your daddy had a bad heart - but he ate a lot of candy and pretzels and stuff."
"Yes, but they are trying to help Memaw get better. I want her to stay around for awhile so you and she can have fun together and she can go home. And this is why we eat good foods."
"Yeah, it's okay to have a little bit of candy, but only a little bit. We have to eat mostly good things."
That's right, sweetie. I want my daughter to grow up understanding how our habits and diets affect our health. I think at four, she understands quite a bit.
I went on Saturday to see mom, with Kenzie in tow. That day was weird, because when I walked in, mom seemed to be in a fog. Her best and oldest friend was there as well has her neighbor, who was also a good friend to mom. They didn' tell me until later, but they also noticed what I noticed throughout the day. Mom wasn't quite herself.
She kept asking to be taken up to her room. I kept telling her she was in her room, to which she would say, "No I'm not! My room is upstairs across the hall." Then she would say that she wanted to get her feet off of the ottoman, or to stand up out of her chair. She was lying in her hospital bed.
She kept asking why she was there. (You had surgery on your heart, mom. To which she would reply "I did?") And then wanted to know why I was there. (Because you had surgery on your heart, mom.) And then began scolding me later (why is Kenzie still up? She should be in bed right now!) Uh, mom... it's 4:10 in the afternoon. It's alright that she's awake right now.
She knew what year it was, but not the month. She knew she what hospital she was at, but not where it was located. She didn't know what floor she was on.
She also wanted to tell me that they had moved her all over the hospital and she's had several rooms before this one. (No, they had you in SICU and then moved you to this room - those are the only two rooms you've had.) Like I said, Saturday, Mom was in a fog.
Worse yet... the nurse had her sitting up in a chair and told mom that she was to sit there and she'd eat her supper there and wouldn't be allowed to get back into bed until after she ate supper. And, if she needed anything, she was to buzz the nurse. Mom sat there for about 10 minutes and then said, "I'm getting back into bed."
I told her she was supposed to sit there until after she ate supper, but she got mad and said again she was going to get back into bed, she was tired of sitting up. I told her if she wanted to do anything, she had to buzz the nurse, and I gave her the remote so she could do that.
The nurse came in and told her the same thing - she couldn't get up on her own and she had to sit there. The nurse wasn't being mean. Mom had to sit up to get her strength built up - she couldn't just lay there all day long and sleep. She'd get pneumonia for sure.
But Sunday was different. I walked in and saw immediately she was back to her old self (more or less) and at least she had her wits about her. But she's still not able to do much walking. Her arthritic knees are hurting so badly that it's hard for her to walk right now. And she's not allowed to pull herself up, she is supposed to hold on to a pillow in front of her and the nurses are supposed to help her get up (at least at this point). But darned if she doesn't keep trying to pull herself up. If she doesn't break the sternum, she's going to warp it. I'm scared she'll strain so hard that she'll rip the bypasses loose and she'll bleed to death.
Well, here's the proof she's on the mend. Hey, not bad looking for 72 years old!
Now I am responsible for trying to find her a facility where she can get extra care beyond the hospital. They all agree she isn't ready to go home yet (not when she can only take 2" steps and it takes her 5 minutes to walk 8 feet to the toilet, and that's with help). I never knew how much work and worry would go into this - but I have to get her into a place where they can do sub-acute physical therapy for her. She has to be able to get up and walk on her own, and to fix meals for herself or drive or whatever. Trouble is, I want her down here and there are no rooms currently available in the good facilites. I'm praying that something opens up so that she can be here and near family.
On another note, Saturday evening I called both my brothers to let them know how mom was doing and asked them to give her a call at the hospital. Kenzie got to talk with both of them and told them about the tube that was allowing blood to drain from the operating site (she said "They sucked blood out of Memaw!")
One brother lives in the same town as I do, and he won't take the time to go see her. Hmmmm.... the words "self-centered prick" comes to mind. I'm sure he's still mad at Mom because she told him if he got in trouble either financially or with the law again, she wasn't going to bail him out any more and not to ask her for any more money. Both she and Dad had bailed him out of trouble so many times it's ridiculous.
The other brother lives in Seattle, Washington, so it would be a little harder for him to make it. But the least they could do would be to call her and talk with her. Even just for 10 minutes. She would love to hear from them.
This morning Kenzie was particularly quiet. I asked her, "Were you afraid of Memaw at the hospital?"
She said yes. I asked her if it was because she'd had an operation and had all the tubes coming out of her and the fact that she had a big cut on her. She said yes, and then,
"Why did Memaw have to be cut open?"
"Because they did an operation on her heart. She had a bad heart and they had to fix it."
"Because she didn't take care of herself? Like your daddy had a bad heart - but he ate a lot of candy and pretzels and stuff."
"Yes, but they are trying to help Memaw get better. I want her to stay around for awhile so you and she can have fun together and she can go home. And this is why we eat good foods."
"Yeah, it's okay to have a little bit of candy, but only a little bit. We have to eat mostly good things."
That's right, sweetie. I want my daughter to grow up understanding how our habits and diets affect our health. I think at four, she understands quite a bit.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friday the 13th is always good luck
So many people have fun with Friday the 13th, touting the bad luck stuff... but it has always been good for me.
My mother was moved this morning from her room in SICU to a step down room, where she is doing really well from her surgery. Progress is slow, but she is healing and is able now to have visitors - even Kenzie can go in to see her.
Thanks to everyone who prayed for her... she had a lot of people praying who cared. I wanted her to get through this for her granddaughter. Kenzie loves her Memaw and it would have been a blow to not have her Memaw around anymore.
We'll go see her this weekend and spend Saturday and Sunday with her.
My mother was moved this morning from her room in SICU to a step down room, where she is doing really well from her surgery. Progress is slow, but she is healing and is able now to have visitors - even Kenzie can go in to see her.
Thanks to everyone who prayed for her... she had a lot of people praying who cared. I wanted her to get through this for her granddaughter. Kenzie loves her Memaw and it would have been a blow to not have her Memaw around anymore.
We'll go see her this weekend and spend Saturday and Sunday with her.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Open heart surgery
I have been at a hospital for two days. Not for me, but my mother. She went to a doctor to see about having surgery for her shoulders (she no longer has the ball part of her humerus that fits into the socket - and that affects both arms). They had done a stress test to check her heart to see of it was strong enough to handle the surgery... and found something questionable. She went to her heart doctor right away with it and he did a catheterization. Lo and behold, they found 3 blocked arteries - 85%, 95% and 95%. Yikes. They scheduled her for open heart surgery for one week later. That was yesterday.
I never knew how stressful waiting was... but it was hard to be sitting around waiting to hear something (anything) about how she was doing. They got started late on her, but around 3 pm the doctor came out and confirmed that she got through the operation fine and they had no trouble. However, when they opened her up, they found she had to have 4 bypasses, not just one. She had been a walking time bomb.
She had always complained about how tired she was, and she was always out of breath from walking or doing any kind of exertion. No one suspected it was a problem with her heart. My mother was lucky to have found this out BEFORE she'd had a heart attack.
I can't go see her today or tomorrow, but I'll try to go up on Saturday and Sunday. I have to have Kenzie with me, but they do not let any child under 14 in the SICU. Hopefully, there will be a friend or relative who will come up, or maybe there will be someone who can watch Kenzie while I go in for 5 minutes to see her. (My husband does taxes and this is CRUNCH time... I'll be spending the weekend at my mother's house while he works at getting out tax returns.)
Although she got out of the surgery okay, the next few days will tell if things are going to turn around for her. The tricky part is to take her off of the ventilator and the medications they are giving her and see if she can do well. I am praying that her body is strong enough and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get herself going again.
I never knew how stressful waiting was... but it was hard to be sitting around waiting to hear something (anything) about how she was doing. They got started late on her, but around 3 pm the doctor came out and confirmed that she got through the operation fine and they had no trouble. However, when they opened her up, they found she had to have 4 bypasses, not just one. She had been a walking time bomb.
She had always complained about how tired she was, and she was always out of breath from walking or doing any kind of exertion. No one suspected it was a problem with her heart. My mother was lucky to have found this out BEFORE she'd had a heart attack.
I can't go see her today or tomorrow, but I'll try to go up on Saturday and Sunday. I have to have Kenzie with me, but they do not let any child under 14 in the SICU. Hopefully, there will be a friend or relative who will come up, or maybe there will be someone who can watch Kenzie while I go in for 5 minutes to see her. (My husband does taxes and this is CRUNCH time... I'll be spending the weekend at my mother's house while he works at getting out tax returns.)
Although she got out of the surgery okay, the next few days will tell if things are going to turn around for her. The tricky part is to take her off of the ventilator and the medications they are giving her and see if she can do well. I am praying that her body is strong enough and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get herself going again.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Whirlwind of events...
Last Friday, we got Kenzie's pics taken at the Sears Portrait studio. I had seen friends' pics done by them and I was really impressed. So I paid the big bucks to do a complete photo shoot.
I have to say I was quite impressed. The young girl who was taking the pictures was quite sweet and was pretty good with Kenzie. However, she was wanting to have every picture with a "pretty princess smile". Needless to say, Kenzie got sick of hearing it. She finally just laid down and gave her a look. As she was trying to get my daughter to stand up, I leaned over and said gently, "Just take the picture." Here is the result.
And so it went. Kenzie was quite cooperative through most of it... but every once in a while she'd do something and I'd have to tell the girl to take the picture. Part of this comes from my own experience of knowing my daughter and taking thousands upon thousands of pictures of her for the last 2 1/2 years. So, Kenzie got the point that she didn't have to smile all the time, and that's when she began to enjoy it more. The difference between how Sears handled taking photos and Walmart handled taking photos was a world apart. And the quality of the photos from Sears was phenomenal. Plus, for a price, I got a CD of all the photos they took, so I could print out my own pictures. Sears was a lot more expensive, but I will NEVER go back to Walmart again for photos.
I have the other photos I liked real well below:
Last night, I heard from my mother. She was supposed to be having surgery on her shoulders this week, but last week one of the tests they ran on her heart showed an anomaly they wanted her heart doctor to check out. She had an angioplasty and found that she has 3 arteries severely blocked (85%, 95% & 95%). It's a wonder she didn't have a heart attack already. So, she is scheduled to have open heart surgery one week from today. I'll be there with Kenzie for support. Although there probably won't be much we can do after she first comes out of surgery except smile, tell her we love her, and make sure she is comfortable. Looks like I need to go buy a portable DVD player so Kenzie can watch her cartoons and movies.
I guess in a way, this is a blessing. Her heart problems were found prior to her having a major heart attack. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer for her. Her name is Treva and she needs as much prayer as anyone can give.
I have to say I was quite impressed. The young girl who was taking the pictures was quite sweet and was pretty good with Kenzie. However, she was wanting to have every picture with a "pretty princess smile". Needless to say, Kenzie got sick of hearing it. She finally just laid down and gave her a look. As she was trying to get my daughter to stand up, I leaned over and said gently, "Just take the picture." Here is the result.
And so it went. Kenzie was quite cooperative through most of it... but every once in a while she'd do something and I'd have to tell the girl to take the picture. Part of this comes from my own experience of knowing my daughter and taking thousands upon thousands of pictures of her for the last 2 1/2 years. So, Kenzie got the point that she didn't have to smile all the time, and that's when she began to enjoy it more. The difference between how Sears handled taking photos and Walmart handled taking photos was a world apart. And the quality of the photos from Sears was phenomenal. Plus, for a price, I got a CD of all the photos they took, so I could print out my own pictures. Sears was a lot more expensive, but I will NEVER go back to Walmart again for photos.
I have the other photos I liked real well below:
Last night, I heard from my mother. She was supposed to be having surgery on her shoulders this week, but last week one of the tests they ran on her heart showed an anomaly they wanted her heart doctor to check out. She had an angioplasty and found that she has 3 arteries severely blocked (85%, 95% & 95%). It's a wonder she didn't have a heart attack already. So, she is scheduled to have open heart surgery one week from today. I'll be there with Kenzie for support. Although there probably won't be much we can do after she first comes out of surgery except smile, tell her we love her, and make sure she is comfortable. Looks like I need to go buy a portable DVD player so Kenzie can watch her cartoons and movies.
I guess in a way, this is a blessing. Her heart problems were found prior to her having a major heart attack. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer for her. Her name is Treva and she needs as much prayer as anyone can give.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
New Rules for China Adoption
I have a condensed version of the new rules for adoption from China. These rules are issued by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA). Many people wish to adopt, but many will not be able to when these new rules go into effect May 1, 2007. No more singles, the CCAA has become more strict about having age limits and length of marriage, a mandatory net worth requirement, stricter criminal history requirements, and specific health requirements. Had this been in place when we adopted Kenzie in 2004 - well, we wouldn't have been able to adopt at all because of my husband's age. We're still worried that it may not happen. We are capable (and healthy, financially secure, etc) of parenting another child. I hope the CCAA meant it when they said that those whose dossiers are in waiting are grandfathered.
According to the Chinese Adoption Law and current practice in China, in order to adopt from China:
* Both adopting parents must be at least 30 years of age and under 50 years of age.
* For Special Needs, both adopting parents must be between at least 30 years of age and under
55 years of age.
* Each parent must be at least a high school graduate.
* A stable marriage of at least two years should be evidenced. If either parent has been
divorced, you must be married for five years. You may have no more than two prior
marriages each.
* You must be financially stable, with an annual income that exceeds $10,000 per household
member (including the child you plan to adopt).
* You must have a net worth of over $80,000.
* Families with fewer than 5 children at home are permitted to adopt.
* Neither parent can have a criminal history with the exception of a DUI more than 10 years
ago.
* Both parents must be healthy, without evidence of any mental or physcial illness that will
affect their life span or ability to parent in any way, including conditions that require
permanent medical treatment or medication.
I have a list of things here that were previously posted on one of the Yahoo boards of illnesses that the CCAA considers disqualifying:
1. AIDS;
2. Mental handicap;
3. Infectious disease within infective stage;
4. Binocular blind or binocular parallax or monocular blind and with
no ocular prosthesis;
5. Binaural hearing loss or language function loss; adoption of
special needs children who have identical conditions will be exempt
from this limitation;
6. Afunction or dysfunction of limbs or trunk caused by impairment,
incompleteness, numbness or deformation; severe facial deformation;
7. Severe diseases which require long term treatment and which
affect life expectancy, like malignant tumor, lupus erythematosus,
nephrosis, epilepsy, and ect.;
8. Post-surgery of major organs transplantation, not yet 10 years;
9. Schizophrenia;
10. Medication for severe mental disorders, like depression, mania,
or anxiety neurosis and etc. stopped not more than 2 years;
* You must have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 40. You can go here to determine your BMI.
Just thought anyone wondering what it would take to adopt would appreciate knowing.
According to the Chinese Adoption Law and current practice in China, in order to adopt from China:
* Both adopting parents must be at least 30 years of age and under 50 years of age.
* For Special Needs, both adopting parents must be between at least 30 years of age and under
55 years of age.
* Each parent must be at least a high school graduate.
* A stable marriage of at least two years should be evidenced. If either parent has been
divorced, you must be married for five years. You may have no more than two prior
marriages each.
* You must be financially stable, with an annual income that exceeds $10,000 per household
member (including the child you plan to adopt).
* You must have a net worth of over $80,000.
* Families with fewer than 5 children at home are permitted to adopt.
* Neither parent can have a criminal history with the exception of a DUI more than 10 years
ago.
* Both parents must be healthy, without evidence of any mental or physcial illness that will
affect their life span or ability to parent in any way, including conditions that require
permanent medical treatment or medication.
I have a list of things here that were previously posted on one of the Yahoo boards of illnesses that the CCAA considers disqualifying:
1. AIDS;
2. Mental handicap;
3. Infectious disease within infective stage;
4. Binocular blind or binocular parallax or monocular blind and with
no ocular prosthesis;
5. Binaural hearing loss or language function loss; adoption of
special needs children who have identical conditions will be exempt
from this limitation;
6. Afunction or dysfunction of limbs or trunk caused by impairment,
incompleteness, numbness or deformation; severe facial deformation;
7. Severe diseases which require long term treatment and which
affect life expectancy, like malignant tumor, lupus erythematosus,
nephrosis, epilepsy, and ect.;
8. Post-surgery of major organs transplantation, not yet 10 years;
9. Schizophrenia;
10. Medication for severe mental disorders, like depression, mania,
or anxiety neurosis and etc. stopped not more than 2 years;
* You must have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 40. You can go here to determine your BMI.
Just thought anyone wondering what it would take to adopt would appreciate knowing.
Lunar New Year...
I know I'm so late in posting this. Our local public library has a program that features children performing songs or skits for Lunar New Year. This year, there was a Korean school that had their students sing a song, and a Mandarin class that had their students do a "song" - actually it was spoken, not sung.
Then they had a couple of the college students do a Lion Dance. It wasn't very fancy, but cute. Everyone enjoyed it. Afterwards, they had crafts and some snacks (Chinese and Korean in nature)... that was yummy.
Here is the video for the Lion Dance.
Then when we had our local FCC (Families with Chinese Children) group's Lunar New Year celebration so all the adopted Chinese girls could get together and play - and the adults actually get to have adult time together... LOL! One of the mothers, Cindy, had bought a small lion costume and guess what all the kids wanted to play with!?!!! Kenzie is in the rear... She was so excited to be part of the lion.
Then they had a couple of the college students do a Lion Dance. It wasn't very fancy, but cute. Everyone enjoyed it. Afterwards, they had crafts and some snacks (Chinese and Korean in nature)... that was yummy.
Here is the video for the Lion Dance.
Then when we had our local FCC (Families with Chinese Children) group's Lunar New Year celebration so all the adopted Chinese girls could get together and play - and the adults actually get to have adult time together... LOL! One of the mothers, Cindy, had bought a small lion costume and guess what all the kids wanted to play with!?!!! Kenzie is in the rear... She was so excited to be part of the lion.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Twisted Fairy Tales
When we brought home our daughter, it wasn't too long before we began telling bedtime stories. Or rather, Mommy would read her one from a book, and Daddy would tell her one. But poor Daddy, after the 5,728th time of telling Little Red Riding Hood, or the Three Bears, or the Three Pigs, or Billy Goats Gruff, he decided to mix it up a little. As he began mixing it up, at first, Kenzie fought against the mixing of stories, and was upset that he didn't tell the story "right," but after awhile, she caught on, as Mommy also got in on the act and started adding silly stuff. So... she began enjoying the stories and adding her own special touches.
This is one of the evenings I recorded with the infrared - so technically, we were in a dark room, but you can get in on the fun. She was so hyper that night... You'll wonder how she ever got to sleep after watching this. But I hope you can follow along and enjoy the story and it's crazy, weird mix... as well as our daughter's antics.
This is one of the evenings I recorded with the infrared - so technically, we were in a dark room, but you can get in on the fun. She was so hyper that night... You'll wonder how she ever got to sleep after watching this. But I hope you can follow along and enjoy the story and it's crazy, weird mix... as well as our daughter's antics.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
It looks like a white thread....
Aaaaaaahhhh, the perks of motherhood!
The other day my daughter was brushing my hair and said, "Mommy! There's something in your hair!"
M: What is it?
K: I don't know.. but it's white.
M: Well, can you put your finger on it and show Mommy where it is?
K: Yeah..
M: Do you have it?
K: Yeah!
So I go poking my finger all over the top of my head going, "Is it here? Is it here?" and she replies "No" each time.
I got a little frustrated because I couldn't "find" it.
M: Do you have your finger on it?
K: Yeah, I'm holding it.
M: Can you take it off?
K: I'm trying, but it's stuck.
M: (dreading the answer) What does it look like?
K: It looks like a white thread and its stuck to your head.
Well folks, I never thought of myself as a vain person... but I have to say that I had always prided myself in the fact that here I was 50 years old and never had one single white or gray hair... until now.
M: Can you pull it out Kenzie?
K: Yeah.. I'll try.
Ripping noises and pain ensues...
She had a handful of hair, but not the one I wanted to get out.
K: Want me to pull again?
M: NO, no... that's okay honey. (OUCH!) Well, it looks like Mommy is going to have to buy some hair dye.
Kenzie gave me a funny look.
M: Hair dye is another word for hair coloring. I'm probably going to start coloring my hair. What color hair do you want Mommy to have?
K: This color. (holding up a lock of my own hair)
M: Well, that may be pretty difficult to find that color, since Mommy's hair is a lot of different colors (mostly brown, but blond and red also). You know, mommy can color her hair A N Y color.
K: If you can color your hair any color, then I want your hair to be PINK!
Only if I lose a bet, honey. But then again, I did open my big mouth...
The other day my daughter was brushing my hair and said, "Mommy! There's something in your hair!"
M: What is it?
K: I don't know.. but it's white.
M: Well, can you put your finger on it and show Mommy where it is?
K: Yeah..
M: Do you have it?
K: Yeah!
So I go poking my finger all over the top of my head going, "Is it here? Is it here?" and she replies "No" each time.
I got a little frustrated because I couldn't "find" it.
M: Do you have your finger on it?
K: Yeah, I'm holding it.
M: Can you take it off?
K: I'm trying, but it's stuck.
M: (dreading the answer) What does it look like?
K: It looks like a white thread and its stuck to your head.
Well folks, I never thought of myself as a vain person... but I have to say that I had always prided myself in the fact that here I was 50 years old and never had one single white or gray hair... until now.
M: Can you pull it out Kenzie?
K: Yeah.. I'll try.
Ripping noises and pain ensues...
She had a handful of hair, but not the one I wanted to get out.
K: Want me to pull again?
M: NO, no... that's okay honey. (OUCH!) Well, it looks like Mommy is going to have to buy some hair dye.
Kenzie gave me a funny look.
M: Hair dye is another word for hair coloring. I'm probably going to start coloring my hair. What color hair do you want Mommy to have?
K: This color. (holding up a lock of my own hair)
M: Well, that may be pretty difficult to find that color, since Mommy's hair is a lot of different colors (mostly brown, but blond and red also). You know, mommy can color her hair A N Y color.
K: If you can color your hair any color, then I want your hair to be PINK!
Only if I lose a bet, honey. But then again, I did open my big mouth...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
My 4 year old has some tough questions!
At what age do children begin to talk about death?
Lately, our daughter has been asking me questions that have taken me by surprise. Here is one conversation:
K: Mommy, I wanna ask you a question.
M: Ok, honey.
K: Mommy, are you going to die?
M: (while the shock is washing over me in waves) Yes, someday mommy will
die.
K: But Mommy, when are you going to die?
M: Well, no one ever really knows when they’ll die. If we did, we wouldn’t
live our lives with the joy and happiness we have.
K: But what happens when you die?
M: My body won’t work any more, but my soul will go to heaven and get to
see God.
K: What does God look like?
M: I don’t know – but I guess I’ll find out someday!
K: I think he has a beard, and long clothes, and hands, and hair…
M: I’m not sure he looks like a person. He may not look like anything that we
can really understand as we are right now.
K: Yeah. God didn’t die, but Jesus did.
M: Yes, that’s right.
K: But why did Jesus die?
M: The Bible teaches us he died to save us from our sins. Do you know what
sin is?
K: No.
M: It’s when we do things God doesn’t want us to do. We aren’t supposed to
lie – that means not telling the truth; we aren’t supposed to covet – that
means wanting things we don’t have; we aren’t supposed to steal – that
means take things that aren’t ours without permission. It also means we
worship God and not things… Like loving money or cars or toys more than
God.
K: Yeah!
M: Kenzie, I want you to understand that mommy and daddy are going to be
around for a long time. We’ll be here today, and in the future. We
probably aren’t going to die any time soon. In fact, we’ll probably be
around long enough to watch you grow up and become a young woman.
Then she went into talking about a Veggie Tales movie where Jr. Asparagus told a lie and the fib kept getting bigger and bigger… I guess unless you are a parent and watch Veggie Tales and can understand this story – it’s best just to say that Veggie Tales are cartoons that use imagery (the “fib” is from outer space – it’s name is Fib – which of course we as adults know that a fib is a lie – and the more Jr. lies, the bigger “Fib” gets. Jr. has to tell the truth for Fib to become small and insignificant).
Two nights later, we are in bed, and while daddy is getting ready (brushing teeth and washing his face/hands), Kenzie again starts asking questions about death.
K: Mommy…… When are you going to die?
M: Honey, I have no idea. I don’t dwell on that.
K: Mommy, when do you get up again after dying?
M: You don’t. Once you die, you don’t get up.
K: But when do you wake up?
M: You don’t wake up. It’s not like you go to sleep. You simply don’t know
anything anymore because your soul leaves your body.
K: Mommy, just before you die, I’m going to wake you up and make you walk
so you won’t die.
M: (smiling and laughing a little) I don’t think it quite works that way, but you
can try. Mommy would appreciate it.
K: What happens to me if both you and daddy die?
M: You would go to live with Mike and Cindy – remember them? They are the
parents of Emma and LiMei.
K: Yeah… OK. But what happens to me if you die?
M: If I die and daddy is still alive, you would stay with daddy.
K: (grinning) OK. (Pause) But what happens to me if daddy dies?
M: If daddy dies and I’m still alive, you would stay with me. If we are both
dead, you would live with Mike and Cindy.
K: Ok, that’s good. But mommy, when is the future?
M: The future is… “not now”. It could be 10 days from now or 10 years from
now or 100 years from now. It is what will happen next – but hasn’t
happened yet.
K: Yeah, but when is the future?
OK, that is a difficult concept to explain… I’m willing to take suggestions from anyone out there who can help.
Then I kept trying to tell her that her daddy and I would be around for a very long time. (My husband had to interject that we’d probably be around for longer than she’d care for us to be – that was supposed to be his attempt at humor, but it was a bit lost on a 4 year old…)
I can’t help but think how precious our daughter is. She is asking questions that I thought originally must have been because of some discussion at her [Christian] daycare… but found out that no one I talked with had said anything about death. However, a couple of the children have had relatives die… so perhaps she is trying to process that. I didn’t really expect questions about death until she was a little bit older. I feel a bit like that commercial “Life comes at you fast…”
Lately, our daughter has been asking me questions that have taken me by surprise. Here is one conversation:
K: Mommy, I wanna ask you a question.
M: Ok, honey.
K: Mommy, are you going to die?
M: (while the shock is washing over me in waves) Yes, someday mommy will
die.
K: But Mommy, when are you going to die?
M: Well, no one ever really knows when they’ll die. If we did, we wouldn’t
live our lives with the joy and happiness we have.
K: But what happens when you die?
M: My body won’t work any more, but my soul will go to heaven and get to
see God.
K: What does God look like?
M: I don’t know – but I guess I’ll find out someday!
K: I think he has a beard, and long clothes, and hands, and hair…
M: I’m not sure he looks like a person. He may not look like anything that we
can really understand as we are right now.
K: Yeah. God didn’t die, but Jesus did.
M: Yes, that’s right.
K: But why did Jesus die?
M: The Bible teaches us he died to save us from our sins. Do you know what
sin is?
K: No.
M: It’s when we do things God doesn’t want us to do. We aren’t supposed to
lie – that means not telling the truth; we aren’t supposed to covet – that
means wanting things we don’t have; we aren’t supposed to steal – that
means take things that aren’t ours without permission. It also means we
worship God and not things… Like loving money or cars or toys more than
God.
K: Yeah!
M: Kenzie, I want you to understand that mommy and daddy are going to be
around for a long time. We’ll be here today, and in the future. We
probably aren’t going to die any time soon. In fact, we’ll probably be
around long enough to watch you grow up and become a young woman.
Then she went into talking about a Veggie Tales movie where Jr. Asparagus told a lie and the fib kept getting bigger and bigger… I guess unless you are a parent and watch Veggie Tales and can understand this story – it’s best just to say that Veggie Tales are cartoons that use imagery (the “fib” is from outer space – it’s name is Fib – which of course we as adults know that a fib is a lie – and the more Jr. lies, the bigger “Fib” gets. Jr. has to tell the truth for Fib to become small and insignificant).
Two nights later, we are in bed, and while daddy is getting ready (brushing teeth and washing his face/hands), Kenzie again starts asking questions about death.
K: Mommy…… When are you going to die?
M: Honey, I have no idea. I don’t dwell on that.
K: Mommy, when do you get up again after dying?
M: You don’t. Once you die, you don’t get up.
K: But when do you wake up?
M: You don’t wake up. It’s not like you go to sleep. You simply don’t know
anything anymore because your soul leaves your body.
K: Mommy, just before you die, I’m going to wake you up and make you walk
so you won’t die.
M: (smiling and laughing a little) I don’t think it quite works that way, but you
can try. Mommy would appreciate it.
K: What happens to me if both you and daddy die?
M: You would go to live with Mike and Cindy – remember them? They are the
parents of Emma and LiMei.
K: Yeah… OK. But what happens to me if you die?
M: If I die and daddy is still alive, you would stay with daddy.
K: (grinning) OK. (Pause) But what happens to me if daddy dies?
M: If daddy dies and I’m still alive, you would stay with me. If we are both
dead, you would live with Mike and Cindy.
K: Ok, that’s good. But mommy, when is the future?
M: The future is… “not now”. It could be 10 days from now or 10 years from
now or 100 years from now. It is what will happen next – but hasn’t
happened yet.
K: Yeah, but when is the future?
OK, that is a difficult concept to explain… I’m willing to take suggestions from anyone out there who can help.
Then I kept trying to tell her that her daddy and I would be around for a very long time. (My husband had to interject that we’d probably be around for longer than she’d care for us to be – that was supposed to be his attempt at humor, but it was a bit lost on a 4 year old…)
I can’t help but think how precious our daughter is. She is asking questions that I thought originally must have been because of some discussion at her [Christian] daycare… but found out that no one I talked with had said anything about death. However, a couple of the children have had relatives die… so perhaps she is trying to process that. I didn’t really expect questions about death until she was a little bit older. I feel a bit like that commercial “Life comes at you fast…”
Monday, February 19, 2007
4 year old dinner conversations
This is from the same night as the post I had previously (the snowman conversations). I love that she can hold her own in a conversation.
Friday, February 09, 2007
My brother is a freaking lunatic
My mother informed me that while talking with my brother Richard, she was telling him of the time that we had let Kenzie do the dishes. Before Mom could finish about that, he said "That's child abuse!" She assured him it wasn't but he was insistent that it was child abuse.
I prefer peace and quiet, thank you. So, I actually was hoping he would do something really stupid, like report to Child Welfare that we are abusing our daughter because she did dishes. I'd love to hear them laugh at him from over the phone... because abuse really is a serious offense, and I'm sure they have far more important things to deal with than a child that loves to and takes pride in being part of a family by doing things with the family that loves her. She loves participating in family activities. A lesson that Richard should learn from a 4 year old.
As Bugs Bunny might say, "What an idiot. What a moron. What a nincompoop. What an ingnoramous." First, I was there, and I watched as Mom monitored the temperature of the water. Second, we only allowed Kenzie to do plastic items (no metal or glass items, especially no utensils). And third, anyone who thinks they can abuse my child better be ready to forfeit their own life. However, I am a firm believer in allowing children to help with chores as they are physically capable. And Kenzie begged us to do the dishes. She was the one trying to maneuver the step stool over to the sink so she could stand there and do them. She got the biggest kick out of doing that, and she loved every minute of it.
I know my liberal, wacked out brother is off the spectrum. He has isolated himself from the family, and then blames the family for not flying out to Seattle to visit him. (Well, more like, to cater to him.) This shouldn't be a newsflash to Richard, but, mom will not fly (she hates it, is scared to death of flying, and would probably have a heart attack if she did); since marrying my husband, I consider my family to be him and our daughter, and my other brother Bill has had his own problems to deal with (how about not getting arrested any more - hard enough to spend time in your own home when you're in jail...). Richard has made a mess of his life all on his own... and like most irresponsible people, he expects someone else to get him out of it.
Of course, instead of talking about things with people like a reasonable human being, he lets it fester inside him until he blows up and then it's everyone else's fault for not doing what he wants done. I told him previously that I could not just take off from work (this was before our adoption of our daughter) and fly out there. Also, while we were preparing for the adoption, I told him I could not help him then... I was in the middle of preparing to go to China, and he wanted me to drop all of that and fly out at his discretion. I especially didn't like the idea of being at his whim - and if he got mad at me I was the one who would suffer more than just a headache from listening to him scream obscenities at me - and his getting mad at me was a guarantee, since I'm more conservative in my views and he always got pissed off if anyone ever said something he disagreed with or disagreed with him about what he thought was right or wrong.
Let's just say I don't have STOOPID written across my forehead. (It is actually written in a little more private spot - but that's a whole 'nother blog.) But telling Richard no and having him internalize it are two different things. He feels he is owed the right to have what he wants when he wants it. He thinks money is the prime motivator for everyone, and all he has to do is say "I'll pay you a lot of money" and people are going to take his abuse just to make a buck.
I prefer peace and quiet, thank you. So, I actually was hoping he would do something really stupid, like report to Child Welfare that we are abusing our daughter because she did dishes. I'd love to hear them laugh at him from over the phone... because abuse really is a serious offense, and I'm sure they have far more important things to deal with than a child that loves to and takes pride in being part of a family by doing things with the family that loves her. She loves participating in family activities. A lesson that Richard should learn from a 4 year old.
Monday, February 05, 2007
What a 4 year old thinks
This morning, while driving my daughter to daycare, she asked me, "Mommy, where do you see God?"
I answered her, "Every time I look at you, I see God. Every time I look at a baby, I see God. Every time I see a tree or the blue sky, I see God. Every time I see someone doing something kind for another, I see God."
She said, "Yeah, and every time I see a mommy or a daddy, I see God."
That is the sweetest thing...
Then there was the other night at dinner. We were sitting around the dinner table finishing up eating, and of course our daughter got into an intersting conversation with her daddy about the snowman they built a week ago. It has mostly melted, although there is still quite a good ball of hard packed snow left. However, her daddy is wanting to bring snowman inside. This is her answer...
I answered her, "Every time I look at you, I see God. Every time I look at a baby, I see God. Every time I see a tree or the blue sky, I see God. Every time I see someone doing something kind for another, I see God."
She said, "Yeah, and every time I see a mommy or a daddy, I see God."
That is the sweetest thing...
Then there was the other night at dinner. We were sitting around the dinner table finishing up eating, and of course our daughter got into an intersting conversation with her daddy about the snowman they built a week ago. It has mostly melted, although there is still quite a good ball of hard packed snow left. However, her daddy is wanting to bring snowman inside. This is her answer...
Friday, February 02, 2007
If only this car ad were true...
Too bad there isn't a car made that can do this. If they could, I'd love it if only VW Polos went to the middle east. Saw this commercial online at a favorite jeweler's and laughed myself silly over it. The link will take you to holylemon.com's site. Some pretty good stuff is there.
Well Built Car
Well Built Car
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Drawing pictures
She's finally at a point where she can draw a picture and it has some resemblance of a thing... here she has drawn a picture of me. Glad to see she has me with a smile on my face. Thought this would be good for a few laughs. (By the way, the circle in the middle of me is my belly button.) OH, and she says that girls have eyelashes, boys don't. So I'm definitely a girl.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
More fun with video - the dancing diva
I had so much fun with this. She was goofing off at my mother's house and I decided that I'd put it to some music. Nothing special - just a cute and fun video. Hope this puts a smile on your face for the day.
And by the way - the music ROCKS!
And by the way - the music ROCKS!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Her first snowman
When our daughter saw the snow on the ground Sunday morning, she couldn't hardly wait untl she went outside. All she could do was say she wanted to build a snowman.
Ok, mom and dad aren't so great at the accessories, and the "hair" is a but much... twigs stuck into the top of its head. Oh, well.... she thought it was marvelous and fun. She was so worried that it would melt - and we had to tell her that eventually it would (too many Frosty the Snowman movies - I can't stand that movie, but she loves it.) When we explained that every time it snowed, we'd have an opportunity to build another snowman, she started to perk up. Hope you enjoy the pictures!
Ok, mom and dad aren't so great at the accessories, and the "hair" is a but much... twigs stuck into the top of its head. Oh, well.... she thought it was marvelous and fun. She was so worried that it would melt - and we had to tell her that eventually it would (too many Frosty the Snowman movies - I can't stand that movie, but she loves it.) When we explained that every time it snowed, we'd have an opportunity to build another snowman, she started to perk up. Hope you enjoy the pictures!
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