Both are held back in swimming

As outlined previously, Kenzie was held back to do session one again in swim lessons.

We made the decision to hold Jia back as well. The main reason is that she doesn't listen to the instructors. They tell the kids to be quiet and listen, she is off dunking herself and yelling for me to look. They tell the kids to hang on to the wall, she is trying to go out to deep water behind the instructors' backs. She is not listening to them, and the higher the level, the more dangerous the lesson will be if she doesn't pay attention to them.

It's the same thing she does at home. I'll tell her not to do something or to do something, and its as if I never opened my mouth. The walls have better hearing than Jia. (BTW - her hearing has been checked and it's perfect - there's no problem with it. The problem lies in her willingness to respond to authority.) There's a part of Jia that I think doesn't care - she's still not getting it when it comes to this family stuff... I think there are times when she thinks this is just another place for her to stay until her next move.

When I told Jia that because she wasn't paying attention to her instructors and that was the reason she was being held back, she bawled and screamed for a half hour "I wanna go to level 2!" over and over. I had told her previously that she had to listen to her instructors - and now she has to deal with the consequences of not doing what we've told her.

Another issue we are currently dealing with: Lying.

And she knows she's not telling the truth. She automatically says, "It wasn't me" when something is discovered and we find that there is something wrong or damaged. Now, I know Kenzie really well - and Kenzie is very careful with her things and with the household. Once Kenzie marked up a wall accidentally with a painted peg, and we talked with her about not doing that and not marking up the walls. This was when she was 2 years old. She's never done it since. But since Jia's been home, we've found places where there are marks (large ones) and we know that Kenzie didn't do it. Jia finally confessed to Roy, but that was after a lot of prodding. Not sure how to handle this. I'm sure that the immediate denial was so she wouldn't be punished in the orphanage... but she has to learn this isn't the orphanage and there aren't another couple hundred kids to blame around her... so it's pretty easy to figure out who did what.

One of these days, the actions vs inactions = consequences equation is going to finally hit home and she'll make the connection. But until then, it's going to be a very bumpy ride.

The latest dope on the brothers

Well, it just gets better and better.

My youngest brother has now filed bankruptcy -for the third time in his life. I find that apropos, since he has never taken any responsibility for any of his failings in life. It's always someone else's fault as far as he is concerned.

My brother Richard showed up at mom's house at around 11 pm last Sunday night. She was trying to go to bed. (Richard is always on Richard-time - there is no other time zone in his eyes, and everyone is supposed to accomodate him.)

He told mom that he wanted to apologize for how he talked to her the last time (calling her a whore, slut, bitch, etc.) He said he did it to make Bill feel good because he felt sorry for Bill. He also said that he had listened to Bill talk shit about me and he fell for it. And he said that alot of what Bill is doing is because of Erika, his wife.

WTF?????????????

Yeah, and we also believe in the tooth fairy, right?

That is the lamest, worst and most F---ed up excuse I have ever heard in my life.

A MAN doesn't try to placate or play to the sympathies of scum in the family just to make them feel better at the expense of his mother, who never did anything to hurt him. A real man would have re-arranged things so he could have visited or helped out. A real man would not give her reason to stress so she could recover more quickly from her surgery. A real man wouldn't try to manipulate her and the entire situation to the detriment of other family members. But Richard isn't a real man. And now everyone knows it. Hell, I've got more balls than he ever had - and perhaps that's why he's jealous of everything I have and am.

I can tell you that it was Richard who trash-talked about me to Bill, back in 2005, and Richard is the one who got Bill so mad at me that he now hates me beyond redemption. Richard is the one who instigated this division in the family.

To top matters off, Richard shows his true colors and blames Bill's wife (who is African-American, by the way - and Richard hates anyone of any color, nationality, ethnicity, or religion that either isn't white or a yes-person to Richard's idealogy) for leading Bill into trying to get mom to make him Power of Attorney and cut me out of the will.

Richard forgets he shot off his mouth to mom's neighbor. He told her that Erika liked him and that they were "friends" because he bought her a designer handbag. That was a very uncomplimentary thing to say. He basically told the neighbor that Erika was so weak and easily manipulated that her loyalties could be bought with a simple gift. (Notice Richard did not say he liked Erika....)

Furthermore, Richard is trying to make himself out to be an innocent bystander. Again, he forgets that he talked to the neighbor. He forgets that after mom told Bill what the neighbor said, he called the neighbor and told her that she should just stay out of their business when it came to mom, that they (meaning Richard and Bill) knew what was best for mom, and that Bill would be the best choice for Power of Attorney. That doesn't sound like someone who is innocent in all this - it appears to me that someone who is that involved to tell a friend of mother's to "back-off" is up to his eyeballs in taking charge of the deception and conspiracy (and crap) that is surrounding my mom.

Innocent my ass..... and my ass has seen enough shit in its 51 years that there is no innocence left in my world. Sorry - that was probably a bit more graphic than I intended it to be.

Here's my take on all of this.

I say that since Richard couldn't manipulate mom through Bill (and Richard has played Bill like a fiddle - oh I just couldn't resist that, since Richard is a violin broker) he decided to just go straight to the source of his disdain and try to manipulate mom himself. Now I am worried that she will end up in trouble - not because she will capitulate to Richard, but because she won't. And Richard has a horrible temper - and I fear he may lose his "self control" (what thinly veiled amount there is) and hurt her. But I have nothing to pin this feeling on... just my gut feelings.

Richard thinks mom is a fool and can be made to do his bidding. I personally think he's wrong.