Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Drawing pictures

She's finally at a point where she can draw a picture and it has some resemblance of a thing... here she has drawn a picture of me. Glad to see she has me with a smile on my face. Thought this would be good for a few laughs. (By the way, the circle in the middle of me is my belly button.) OH, and she says that girls have eyelashes, boys don't. So I'm definitely a girl.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

More fun with video - the dancing diva

I had so much fun with this. She was goofing off at my mother's house and I decided that I'd put it to some music. Nothing special - just a cute and fun video. Hope this puts a smile on your face for the day.

And by the way - the music ROCKS!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Her first snowman

When our daughter saw the snow on the ground Sunday morning, she couldn't hardly wait untl she went outside. All she could do was say she wanted to build a snowman.

Ok, mom and dad aren't so great at the accessories, and the "hair" is a but much... twigs stuck into the top of its head. Oh, well.... she thought it was marvelous and fun. She was so worried that it would melt - and we had to tell her that eventually it would (too many Frosty the Snowman movies - I can't stand that movie, but she loves it.) When we explained that every time it snowed, we'd have an opportunity to build another snowman, she started to perk up. Hope you enjoy the pictures!

Christmas from the eyes of a child

Christmas had become, over the years, a day that was pretty much like any other day of the year for us, except that we didn't have to work. But it wasn't exactly special in any way that made me really look forward to it.

After we had adopted our daughter, it came alive again. To hear our daughter singing Christmas songs (even if the words coming out of her 3 year old mouth weren't exactly right) was so much fun. And she wanted me to sing them for her so she could learn. It held magic for her... and in the end it held magic for me.

I remember the day care she attends used to have a gentleman come in to the daycare dressed as Santa (he had his own nicely trimmed white beard - so if there was to be any checking out if it was real... it would be real). A good friend of ours was at the daycare dropping off her little girl when Santa showed up... and she related what happened.

Santa walked into the daycare in the section with the 1-2 year olds, and Kenzie just about hyperventilated... she could hardly talk she was so excited, and kept saying "Santa! Santa!"

As soon as he sat down, she crawled right up in his lap. When he put her down and picked up the next child, she crawled right back up in his lap. She was not going to be denied any time with this magical person. The daycare personnel got the biggist kick out of her... and when Santa was going to leave, she wanted him to pick her up and hold her.

She was so cute at that early age. I dearly love the fact that now she is so verbal she can tell us what is on her mind and how she feels. And sometimes, what comes out of her mouth is hilarious. Such as when she was helping her daddy open up his present and blurted out "A massager, Mama!" I think she was happier to see this than her daddy was.

I wanted to share a composite of her Christmases from the last 3 years. I hope you will enjoy seeing how much she has grown. It isn't necessarily in chronological order, just to warn you.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

One Year Today and "Witch Crap"

It has been one year today since we were LID to China for our second adoption. One year, and it feels like there is no end. Or rather, the end will come because we will both be too old in the CCAA's eyes to adopt again, even if we are supposed to be grandfathered under the old rules. We really are lucky we got to adopt the first time, in my opinion. I do have a lot of sympathy for those who haven't adopted even once yet and may yet be affected by the new rules.

I know there are many others in our boat. The frustration is hard to take, as I witness their posts on APC daily. However, as I have said on my website... instead of wanting it so much it has driven me crazy, I have given this whole thing now over to God. I prayed the other night and just simply said if this is to be, then you will see that it happens. If this is not what we are supposed to do, then we will be raising one really great daughter, and I am forever grateful that she is ours to love and spoil.

Case in point... last night she had a dish towel she loves to hold on to and sleep with. She had bunched it up in a big ball and was pretending it was a witch. She said to me, "This was made with witch crap."

She was trying to say witchcraft. I can't tell you how much I laughed.

Then this morning, I got up around 4 am (couldn't sleep) and went downstairs to take care of some things. She woke up around 5 am and began crying because I wasn't in bed with her. When I got there, she wiped her tears away and then laid down with her back up against me, and fell fast asleep. As long as I'm there, she is fine. I know I'm probably romanticizing this - but I wonder if this is how she was abandoned... she went to sleep with her mother there with her, and then woke up alone and in a strange, cold place. The brain is a funny thing... it stores memory or impressions of things that we can't possibly pull up into our consciousness, but it's there none-the-less. And it affects us on a level we can't even fathom.

No one can tell me a newborn is just a lump that eats, pees and sleeps. I remember when my brother was living with a woman who had given birth while they were together (to someone else's child - he began living with her while she was about 4 months pregnant and knew the child wasn't his... but that's a whole 'nother story to tell). My brother had talked to the child when she was in the womb, so I have no doubt she heard his voice. When she was born, he held her in his hands, and I would watch him talk to her - and she would respond with excitement and what appeared to be a pleased look on her face. She recognized his voice.

I, on the other hand, would talk to her in a similar fashion, but she would furrow her brow, because I was totally foreign to her. She'd never heard my voice, and even though I slightly resembled my brother, she knew darn good and well I was not him. So I know that even newborns can have some kind of memory or recognition, and that it stays with them.

So, although I don't really know the circumstances surrounding her abandonment, I don't think it is totally unreasonable to think that she remembers something of the fear that must have been present when she realized there was no mother who would come when she cried.

Am I crazy for thinking this?

Monday, January 08, 2007

The latest on Paula Zahn and her update on China adoptions

Here's the transcript of what was in the show tonight. I still find this show to be less than satisfactory. My thoughts here are done on the fly... so I may have more to contribute later.

Let's see... so Moldanado has done some research into why people adopt the way they do. OK... I took a statistics class, and the first thing you learn is that you can make your research come out the way you want it to simply by how you phrase your questions. And if you have an agenda, you can inadvertently make your data show what you want it to by either phrasing your questions so that you get the answer you expect or by how you interpret the data. DUH!

Secondly, we are told by Mr. Martin that the definition of a racist is someone who has power over another. OH.... so, since I have no power over you, Mr. Martin or of any other person of color, I can use racist terminology and I'm not a racist, according to what you say.

I would love to know what obscure dictionary Mr. Martin uses to get his definitions of racism. Websters says racism is:

1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2 : racial prejudice or discrimination

Perhaps Mr. Martin's problem is that he doesn't think he's a racist because of his his liberal mind bent, which makes him so superior in his thinking that he can use racist terms because he's proving some murky, vague point (which was never really clarified for me, since all they did was use offensive terms about Chinese, hispanic, and AA children.)

Martin said that the comments were taken out of context - that they were joking and making their point by using these comments. I'll remember that it's "just a joke" when someone refers to "tar babies" being adopted domestically or make other offensive comments about children of a certain race or ethnicity. I guess it's okay to make offensive comments if you're liberal and of a minority race or ethnicity. I would be crucified if I went on a national TV program and did the same thing they did.

What is even more offensive to me is the reference by Uygur to the fact that Moldanado told him you get a discount for adopting African-American children. A discount????? Well, for those of us stupid enough to spend $20K for a Chinese adoption, we now find that an AA child is viewed as a blue-light special to these "experts". It's the liberals who treat these children as commodities.

These children are children. Children - human beings - with feelings and lives and futures, no matter where they are from. Why don't these "experts" talk in depth about what it really takes to adopt a child here in the U.S. No, Mr, Martin, depending on the route you take, it is not necessarily easy to adopt in the U.S. Not by a long shot.

At least Mr Uygur had the decency to apologize for his statements being "overbroad" in attributing race as the only factor in why people adopt from China.

Ugh.... these people have no shame.


JOHN VAUSE, CNN CORRESPONDENT (voice-over): No one knows for certain just how many Chinese kids don't have a family, but 23 of them live here in the New Day Foster Home, on the outskirts of Beijing. And all of these children have special needs.

Doug Bush from Alabama is one of the American volunteers who run the home.

DOUG BUSH, NEW DAY FOSTER HOME: These children are -- are being adopted, for the most part, by families in America. VAUSE: It's been like that since New Day opened six years ago. Kids stay here, on average, 18 months. In fact, for childless couples across the United States, China has been a blessing. But, by May, the open door to Chinese kids may be closing a little, with the communist government imposing tough new criteria for hopeful parents. They must not be morbidly obese, must not have any facial deformities, and must not take antidepressants.

They need to have a net worth of $80,000 or more, and need to married couples, age between 30 and 50 -- so, no more singles allowed.

BUSH: The regulations will limit some families that I believe would make good -- good parents. But I do understand the reason for them.

VAUSE: China says, the new rules are meant to find the best parents for their homeless children. And with anecdotal evidence suggesting the number of orphans is decreasing, the authorities here can afford to be choosy.

KATE WEDGWOOD, CHINA PROGRAM DIRECTOR, SAVE THE CHILDREN: They're more stringent than, say, Vietnam or Guatemala, but less stringent than South Korea. And I think it's very normal for countries to have certain restrictions.

VAUSE (on camera): According to the U.S. State Department, last year, almost 7,000 Chinese kids found new homes in the United States, the most number of adoptions from any one country. And the main reason for that, this system is centrally controlled. And that means it's relatively efficient. It's predictable. And everyone knows the rules.

(voice-over): And, when those rules change, it may mean that a family somewhere will miss out on giving one of these kids a new home and a new life.

John Vause, CNN, Beijing.


ZAHN: And, as I mentioned, we got thousands of e-mails about this segment. Here's why.

On Friday, we set out to talk about discrimination and the proposed regulations, but our panelists went in a different direction.

Here's what radio host Roland Martin said about adopting Chinese children.


ROLAND MARTIN, EXECUTIVE EDITOR, "THE CHICAGO DEFENDER": What's the big deal with Chinese children? Enlighten me, please. Help me out.


ZAHN: You understand this better than anybody. Why don't we see more Americans adopting black foster children?

MARTIN: Well, that's -- I mean, that's my point.

ZAHN: Hispanic children?

MARTIN: I mean, I'm trying to figure out, what's the big deal with Chinese children?


MARTIN: Why the infatuation?

ZAHN: Well, do you think it's something with the -- the color of their skin? Is that what you're driving at?

MARTIN: I -- I don't know. I'm -- or maybe they think they can adopt a smart kid or something who is going to grow up to be a doctor.


MARTIN: I don't know. All they need to realize, that that's called training, not just inherent; it is going to happen because just they're born.

Angel, can you help me out?

MALDONADO: Yes, absolutely.

I mean, this is something that I have been looking into for -- for a long time. Americans do have this love affair with girls from China. There is this belief, this perception, as irrational as it might be, that, if you adopt a little girl from China, she's going to be intelligent. She's going to be more lovable.

MARTIN: So, there's nothing...


MARTIN: ... porcelain doll?


ZAHN: Radio host Cenk Uygur saw the question from a Muslim perception, which became clear as our conversation continued.


MARTIN: What is the infatuation with -- by Americans and other foreigners when it comes to adopting Chinese children?

That -- I mean, but that -- that is a real issue there. (CROSSTALK)

MARTIN: And -- and why do we avoid other children, and not just -- children who are here in America, who are looking for homes, and who just...

ZAHN: All right.

MARTIN: ... who, just like Chinese orphans, want a nice place to live.


ZAHN: But , realistically, how are you ever going to change that bias?

CENK UYGUR, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: Well, you know, I think a lot of people are looking for Muslim children these days.

ZAHN: Yeah, right.


UYGUR: Yes. And, you know, because we started the Iraq war, and there's so many orphans. I'm sure they're getting a lot of Iraqi children, right?


UYGUR: No, of course. They are doing it because they think it's cute, and they're going to be smart. And it's really dumb, actually, of course.

And, so, Roland is right. It's all in the training. And -- and -- and it's a shame, because there's a -- all over the world, there's other kids that need to be adopted, especially in Africa.


ZAHN: Sound like racism to you?

Well, it did to some of the people who wrote to us.

Here's what Karen had to say: "How can you allow guests to make blanket statements that parents who adopt from China only want porcelain dolls who are smart and well-behaved? The comments made by all three panelists clearly show that they are racists and ignorant about issues concerning adoption, adoptive parents, and U.S. citizens in general, not to mention Asian-American stereotypes."

Another e-mail, this one from Alice, reads: "Please help educate our wonderful country, instead of providing racist and negative stereotypes to international adoptive parents. Believe me, nobody goes through an international adoption to have a porcelain doll. We just want to be parents. It is a difficult, expensive, intrusive process that truly weeds out those who want to parent from those wanting a child for vanity."

And then we got this one from Laurie: "If CNN would have invited someone from the adoption community to participate on the panel, perhaps the show would have had actual substance, rather than becoming a forum for verbal bashing of the parents of international adoptees."

We're going to hear from Cenk Uygur and Roland Martin in just a little bit.

But, tonight, we are now going to hear from someone in the adoption community. One of the people who contacted us about Friday's segment is David Youtz. He is the president of the Greater New York Chapter of Families With Children From China. He and his wife have adopted four girls from China, including triplets, who joined the family just last year. And he has spent several years living in China, teaching English and learning Chinese. He joins me now.

Thank you so much for being with us.


ZAHN: Thank you.

So, how insulting did you find those stereotypes that you just heard among our panelists?

YOUTZ: Well, as you heard, it stirred people up.

I think the -- the real difficulty was not so much that they were acting racist. I think they thought they were being funny, and -- and doing sort of a quick look at adoption.

The difficulty is that adoption is a very complex thing. And it really has to do with what's good for the child. And it's often very complex and difficult, far more, I think, than your panelists realize, to go ahead and form a family through international adoption.

ZAHN: Do you concede, though, that some of the stereotypes that they address do exist among some Americans?

YOUTZ: No, I don't think so.

You know, I think the key point here is that what parents in the United States want to do is form a family. And race is really not what's going on. The reason many, many Americans -- there are now something like 55,000 children who have been adopted by Americans into -- from China into American homes.

The reason that's been so popular, I think, is really the process. The process in China is very predictable. It's very consistent. It's quite fair. When you enter into it as an adoptive parent, you know roughly how long that process will take, what the paperwork is that you need, the costs. And, you know, it's a very clear and dependable process. And that's exactly what you want as an adoptive parent.

ZAHN: So, is it a less dependable process than -- that -- when Roland Martin talks about the need for Americans to adopt black children here in -- in our own country?

YOUTZ: Right.

ZAHN: Are you saying the process is so onerous with their adoption, it's just much easier to go to China, and -- and bring those little kids home?

YOUTZ: Well, it's a very personal decision when a -- you know, an adoptive parent or a couple decide they want to do.

It's a very personal choice on which direction they go. And I absolutely applaud anyone who wants to go through a domestic adoption. There are thousands and thousands of children in foster care. And let's hope that as many as possible end up in great homes.

But, for an individual family deciding, you don't just say, I'm going to save this child or that child. It's really all about forming a family. It's not about rescuing someone. And I think that's where the panelists went astray.

Let's close with this e-mail from an adoptive parent. Her name is Alice. She says: "It is a disservice to label adoptive parents so shallow in their decisions. It is also a disservice to imply that Chinese children are always tainted" -- or -- excuse me -- "talented and gifted. It's one of the unfortunate Asian stereotypes that all Asians are smart and hardworking. Can you imagine the pressure and expectations this puts on less able Chinese children?"

Does she have a point there?

YOUTZ: Oh, absolutely. She's exactly on the money.

And that, I think, was what truly upset people, was the -- the program, which was supposed to, you know, burst stereotypes ended up pushing along old, tired stereotypes. Asian children are children. And we love them because they become members of our family. We don't want to deal with the stereotypes.

ZAHN: We appreciate your coming on.

YOUTZ: Thanks, Paula.

ZAHN: Hope you felt you were able to -- to get your piece tonight.

YOUTZ: I am. And I'm glad you listened to us. Thank you.

ZAHN: OK. Thank you.

We're committed to bringing intolerance out into the open on this show, even if it means holding up a mirror to some of our own feelings. In a minute, I'm going to be joined by an "Out in the Open" panel. It includes two of my guests from Friday's controversial discussion about adopting Chinese babies.

And, then a little bit later on, do parents have a right to stunt their daughter's growth because she's severely disabled, so it will be easier for them to take care of her?

We will be back with that debate.


ZAHN: Another story we're bringing into the open tonight, a national trend that's affecting many historically black neighborhoods -- in a little bit, the changing face of South Central Los Angeles.

First, we're going to bring out into the open the passionate response we got to our discussion Friday about our segment on China's new proposed adoption rules.

Some of the things our panelists said really touched a raw nerve, got a lot of people very upset, even accusing our panelists of racism. We got thousands of e-mails about the segment.

And joining me now, two members of Friday's panel, Roland Martin, executive editor of "The Chicago Defender" newspaper, host of "The Roland S. Martin Show," and Cenk Uygur, a host of "The Young Turks" on the Air America Radio Network. Also with me, Ginny Gong, president of the Organization of Chinese Americans.

Welcome, all.

I want to start off with an e-mail, Roland, that I would like you to respond to.

MARTIN: Mmm-hmm.

ZAHN: And it says: "To imply that we, as adoptive parents, adopt Chinese babies because they are smarter than other races or cuter than other cases is just simply wrong. To say it is in the 'in thing' to do is just insulting. To ask why we don't adopt Muslim children, well, it is against the law in Muslim countries. How crazy to even make such a strange statement, that we are afraid of what would happen in a chemistry class."

Roland, first of all, what do you say to the charges that you were a racist by saying some of what you said on Friday?

MARTIN: Well, first and foremost, anybody who knows that definition of what being a racist means, having power over someone, that wouldn't apply.

What we were talking about -- frankly, we were debunking the stereotypes, making fun of those stereotypes, people who do that. Now, Angel Maldonado from Seton Hall University, had the research. And what she said, there is evidence there of individuals who make adoptions based upon race.

And, so, anybody who watches that, the question I asked was, what is the infatuation in America with adopting Chinese children? She gave her response, in terms of based upon -- in terms of how some people feel about Chinese girls. We then took off on that particular statement. Now...

ZAHN: But didn't you also make it clear, Roland, that there seemed to be a preference of these -- these Chinese babies, one of our guests referring to them as porcelain dolls, over black kids?

MARTIN: Well, no, no -- right. I -- first of all, the porcelain dolls statement was still in response to Angel's comment about them being -- you know, being the -- the cute girls.

I raised that question because, again, I asked, OK, if there is such demand in America for Chinese children, then what about American children? Now, the guest that you had on the air, you asked him the question about whites adopting African-American children. What did he say? He said, well, that's a personal preference as to how people want to put together their family.

ZAHN: But -- but, to be perfectly fair, Roland, he also made it clear that -- that the process in China is much more predictable than the process perhaps in other countries. And -- and -- and, although he didn't say that, I think you could extrapolate from that -- that maybe it's -- it's sometimes, in much cases, much tougher to adopt an African-American child than a Chinese child.

MARTIN: Well, are -- are you meaning in America? Because, again...

ZAHN: In America.

MARTIN: Well, again, and so, I also have e-mails from people who have actually adopted kids in America, and they say, it -- it is not that -- as difficult.


MARTIN: And, so, again, you -- you have (INAUDIBLE) on both.

The point there, we were not criticizing individuals, everyone who adopts a Chinese kid. We were talking about people who do adopt based upon stereotypes. We're criticizing those stereotypes.

ZAHN: Do you plead guilty, Cenk, to impugning the -- impugning the motives of Americans who adopt children from China?

UYGUR: I'm a talk show host, Paula, so I'm never guilty of anything, and I'm never wrong.



Listen, there is...


ZAHN: It must be great to be perfect.


UYGUR: There are two separate issues here. The charges of racism, I think, are absolutely ridiculous. We were pointing out a false stereotype, and saying how false it was.

Now, on the other hand, if you -- is race a factor in some people's decision to adopt children in different countries or in this country? Absolutely, it is. It would be ridiculous to say that it isn't for anybody.

For example, off the air, Professor Maldonado was talking about how you get a 25 percent discount if you adopt an African-American child, someone who has any African-American blood in them in America. You get a 50 percent discount if they're fully African-American.

And that's -- to say that that is -- that there's no supply-and- demand issues, that there's no race issues there is ridiculous.

ZAHN: All right.

UYGUR: On the other hand, was I overbroad in saying that that -- implying, in my one sentence, that that was the sole factor? Absolutely.

I was overbroad -- I think overbroad, to the point of being wrong. I think there are a lot of factors involved. I think there are a lot of great people who do adoption for many good reasons. And God bless them for it.

ZAHN: He actually admitted...


GONG: ... that he was wrong.

You said you weren't going to admit that tonight at the -- at the top of this interview.


ZAHN: So, Ginny, the bottom line here is -- is, clearly, our panel struck a nerve.

Are you satisfied with both Roland's and Cenk's explanation, that -- that what this simply was, was a discussion about stereotypes people have had for a very long time about adopting various races of babies?

GONG: I don't -- I don't know if the issue is whether I'm satisfied, because, certainly, it's the parents, I think, that, really, it hit a nerve with.

You know, for me, creating a family is a very difficult decision to make. And a lot of it is just the process that David talked about. And, also, you know, I think there is some kind of a concern, maybe, that, if someone was adopted here, you know, what if, down the line, the parents emerge and decided that they, you know, wanted to claim the child back?

I certainly think that that's a factor as well. But the process is streamlined, in that on the -- that it was quite liberal and quite fair, and that, if you really wanted to go through this process, there was some predictability to it. And I think that that's a piece of it.

MARTIN: You know -- you know, Paula, I received some e-mails from different people, who also were exhibiting their stereotypes, saying they did not want some crackhead baby mama to come back and get their children.

I know of individuals who are very good friends of mine who have adopted, and they're -- in America, African-American children. And they were white, as well, who were not concerned with that, as well.

And, so, people have different reasons as to why they adopt.

GONG: Right.

MARTIN: Absolutely.

But people who adopt because they want adopt, they want to do a family, that's fine. But to deny that people -- that race doesn't -- is not a factor, and you -- you can say, well, I have never heard it.

The evidence is there. And, so, if someone was offended by it, I'm sorry they were offended by these -- these stereotypes. The key is, are we being honest as to how people adopt? There are people who, frankly, may be more comfortable adopting a Chinese child vs. an African-American or an Hispanic child.

And, if the issue is, again, streamlining the process in America, well, then, we can work towards that. But just to say, well, it's easier there than here, you know, you -- you have to really question that, because other people have done it, and they have -- and they have been very fine with their choices in America.

ZAHN: Roland Martin, we have got to leave it there.

Cenk Uygur, Ginny Gong, thank you, all.


ZAHN: Glad to have you all on board tonight.

Paula Zahn and her "experts" are racists,morons and just plain idiots

I am not sure how many people saw the Paula Zahn Now segment where they discussed the new rules for China adoptions. It was disgusting to say the least. I have here a transcript of the the show for those of you who have missed it, and my personal commentary on the idiocy shown in the comments of her "guests".

January 5, 2007

Paula Zahn Now Transcript

ZAHN: So how would you feel if someone told you you couldn't adopt a baby because you're not thin enough, not rich enough, nor attractive enough? We're bringing this story out in the open tonight because that's exactly what's about to happen when Americans try to adopt children from China, and some people say that is downright discriminatory. China is the most popular country Americans go to for foreign adoptions. Last year, nearly 6,500 Chinese children found parents right here in the U.S. John Vause is in Beijing tonight and he joins me live. So, John, what are some of these restrictions that are about to be put in place that we need to be aware of?

JOHN VAUSE, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Well, Paula, the Chinese government says these new measures are all about finding better homes for Chinese orphans, so as of this coming May, all foreigners, not just Americans, but anyone from overseas wanting to adopt a Chinese orphan must meet some of these following criteria. They must not be morbidly obese, in other words, a body mass index of over 40, they must not have facial deformities, they must not take antidepressants. On the other side of the equation, they must have a net worth of $80,000 or more. They must earn over $30,000 a year. They must also be, this is one of the biggest changes, they also must be a man and a woman who have, in fact, been married for at least two years, aged between 30 and 50. So in other words, no singles. In the past, China was one of the few countries in the world who would allow singles to adopt kids. They've never allowed gay adoption but they have allowed singles in limited numbers to adopt kids but it seems that will be changing as well, Paula.

ZAHN: So what is the Chinese government officially saying about this, and why they want to institute these changes?

VAUSE: Well, the Chinese government is making no apologies for the new criteria. An official that we spoke to Friday told us in part, quote, "Our job is to help the homeless children find warm families, rather than just children for childless families." At the same time we're insisting there's been no change to the actual adoption policy. They're just introducing a preference system, because quite simply, there are so many foreigners who want to come here that they just outnumber the orphans who are available for adoption, and there are lengthy waiting periods for foreigners wanting Chinese kids. They can wait for a year, in many cases sometimes more, Paula.

ZAHN: John Vause, thanks so much for the update. Joining me now, an attorney Sondra Solovay, an author of "Tipping the Scales of Justice: Fighting Weight-Based Discrimination." She also has a new book coming out later this year. Welcome back. Some of these rules, I think, are a little bit easier for us to swallow than others. I think some people think it's probably pretty justified that prospective parents have enough money to care for a children, but what about weight restrictions, what about facial deformities, and how that could compromise someone's ability to adopt?

SONDRA SOLOVAY, AUTHOR, "TIPPING THE SCALES OF JUSTICE": These restrictions are definitely troubling. I certainly empathize with the difficult decision of figuring out which adoptive family is going to be the best for a child and the children we're most concerned about. But you simply can't tell by looking at someone if they're going to be a good adoptive parent. We don't have to rent "Mommy Dearest" to remember that a pretty face doesn't mean a pretty family. And certainly you can't tell the amount of love a parent has in their heart by looking at the number on their bathroom scale.

ZAHN: But on the flipside of all this, doesn't China have the right to create whatever rules it wants to, no matter how unpalatable some of them might seem?

SOLOVAY: Sure, they have the right, they have the obligation to do what they think is best to look out for their children. That's absolutely true. It's an interesting point as well, because some of these agencies that are in the U.S. are going to be in quite a predicament, caught between two different rules, rules in the United States prohibiting them from discriminating based on disability, based on weight, based on marital status and the restrictions that China imposed so it's difficult for the agencies, too, but I think we need to bring our attention back to the children and the idea is to find the children the best, most loving homes they can, and those homes don't come in a particular weight limit or a particular size. In fact, we have this idea, I suppose, of a traditional home. But when children come from China to the U.S., many will be placed in homes that are going to be mixed race or mixed ethnicity anyway. These aren't traditional homes and it's the diversity in the U.S. that makes those families understand that they have the same rights as any other family.

ZAHN: How many angry calls are you taking from prospective parents out there about these new regulations?

SOLOVAY: I expect my office is going to be absolutely flooded with calls not only from parents, but from the agencies themselves, wondering about their rights and responsibilities. For example, in San Francisco, you can't discriminate based on weight, so an agency in San Francisco is going to have a difficult time walking that line.

ZAHN: Well, Sondra Solovay, we're going to leave that there and get more reaction now. Thank you for your time. From our panel.

SOLOVAY: Thank you.

ZAHN: One more time. Cenk Uygur, Roland Martin, Solangel Maldonado. Obviously the Chinese government is making it clear it wants to be more selective will prospective parents, it wants to place these children in the best family environment it can. Isn't that justified?

MALDONADO: Absolutely. I think we all know that China is a sovereign country. It has the right to place whatever restrictions on foreigners who are seeking to adopt their children that it wants. And adoption is really about supply and demand, and the reality is that there are many more Americans, many more Westerners seeking to adopt children from China than there are children available so the Chinese government can decide to do whatever it wants.

MARTIN: OK, why? What's the big deal with Chinese children? Enlighten me, please, help me out.

ZAHN: You understand this better than anybody. Why don't we see more Americans adopting black foster children?

MARTIN: That's my point. What's the big deal with Chinese children? Why the infatuation?

ZAHN: You think it's something with the color of their skin? Is that what you're driving at?

MARTIN: Maybe they think they can adopt a smart kid that is going to grow up to be a doctor? I don't know. They need to realize that's called training, not just inherent, it will happen when they're born. Angel, help me out.

MALDONADO: Absolutely. This is something I've been looking into for a long time. Americans have this love affair with girls from China. There is this belief, this perception, irrational as it might be that if you adopt a little girl from China, she's going to be intelligent, she's going to be more lovable.

MARTIN: Like the porcelain doll.

MALDONADO: We definitely see that idea of the beautiful Chinese little girl, as compared to do, they really want to adopt a black boy.

ZAHN: What difference does it make if the prospective parent has a facial deformity and the prospective parent weighs 70 more pounds than the scale says they should weigh.

UYGUR: I love the idea of them weighing people. All right. So you know, first of all, okay, so gay parents are out. That's a clear rule, but then also Dennis Hastert's out because he's way too fat. They put him on the scale, sorry. But I'd probably be out. I don't know, maybe I'd have to go on an exercise regimen, to do the body mass indexes they pinch you in all of these different places.

ZAHN: You can fake it, suck it in.

UYGUR: Not me.

MARTIN: Paula, you raise the question -- China, first of all, they do have the right to do it, but the flipside is what is the infatuation by Americans and other foreigners when it comes to adopting Chinese children? That is a real issue there, and why do we avoid other children and not just -- children who are here in America, who are looking for homes, and who just like Chinese orphans want a nice place to live.

ZAHN: But realistically, how are you ever going to change that bias?

UYGUR: I think a lot of people are looking for Muslim children these days.

ZAHN: Yeah, right.

UYGUR: Because we started the Iraq war and there's so many orphans. I'm sure they're getting a lot of Iraqi children, right? No, of course, they think it's cute and they're smart and it's really dumb, actually, of course. Roland's right, it's all in the training and it's a shame because all over the world there's other kids that need to be adopted especially in Africa, but for once, the celebrities are doing the right thing there trying to foster that.

MARTIN: Call the queen of Africa, Angelina Jolie. She can hook you up.

MALDONADO: I think what we need to do is we need to break down some of the misconceptions. For example, people believe if they're adopting a child from China, the child is going to be healthier than a child they adopt in the United States and that is just not true. Even if the child is born...

ZAHN: It defies logic. The quality of the medical care many of these kids have suffered through the first several months of life.

MARTIN: What also ignores logic is that China is having an explosion when it comes to obesity as well so maybe they should start their own million pound challenge like we started in Chicago to deal with Chinese folks who don't want to have overweight kids.

ZAHN: What are some of the other assumptions you think people in America make about the native intelligence of children based on whether you're Hispanic -- We had a guest on the other night when you were with us suggesting that Hispanic parents don't take education as seriously as some other sets of our population. There's a very complicated picture here.

UYGUR: And America is changing and some of the assumptions are going to change because of that. What really happens isn't of course that Asians are smarter. Immigrant families foster a culture where they work hard and emphasize education so Jewish families went through that, Asian families went through that. But now Eastern European families are coming and doing the same thing and African families are coming and doing the same thing. So I can't wait for 10, 20 years down the line, everybody's like I've got to have an African child. Because they're all geniuses.

MARTIN: Remember, those are learned traits that you learn based upon how you have been raised.

UYGUR: Of course.

MARTIN: You are simply not born, hey that, kid will have a great work ethic because they were born to an immigrant family. It simply doesn't work that way because you got some lazy immigrant families. What do you think the assumptions Americans make about kids of Asian descent even here in America, they'll work hard, they'll own their store someday.

UYGUR: They'll be brilliant.

ZAHN: All right. Hispanic...

MALDONADO: Well the idea about Hispanic kids, it's sort of mixed. I think the stereotypes about Hispanic kids are both positive and negative. They believe that Hispanic kids are likely to work harder than black kids, but they also believe that they're not going to be as intelligent as Asian kids.

ZAHN: Muslim kids.

UYGUR: They're going to grow up to be violent. Who is adopting a Muslim kid? Has anyone adopted a Muslim kid in the last 20 years in America?

MARTIN: You've got somebody sitting there saying, keep the Muslim kid out of chemistry class. Keep them away.

ZAHN: How about black kids? Do you think the average American out there makes the assumption they'll be lazy and never make it through high school?

MARTIN: I think they probably assume they're going to sing for them like Jay Z and play like in the NBC.

ZAHN: Anybody would love to have Jay Z's career.

MARTIN: I'd rather have Bob Johnson's. He's a billionaire and Jay Z isn't.

ZAHN: Thank you, Roland Martin, Solangel Maldonado. Thank you, all. Appreciate your time.

First of all, let me say that Zahn lost it as far as keeping the discussion on track.

I want to point out the flaws or problems with the statements here.

First, China has the right to make, change, or interpret their rules regarding international adoptions any way they see fit. The U.S. does the same thing here with their foster to adopt system. They have definite rules as to whom they deem as fit parents... and I don't hear this horrible outcry from the domestic adoption community. Now all of a sudden, China, which has had flexible and less exclusive adoption rules, decides for their childrens' best interests that they wish to tighten the IA belt, so to speak, is being derided for doing so. They are doing so for the best options for their children. Why in the hell should China apologize? They have nothing to apologize for.... they are doing what they think is best.

For Sondra Solovay - here's my take. If it's for American adoptions that you want to fight so that morbidly obese people are allowed to adopt - then go ahead if you want to. But DON'T equate China with the U.S. China has its rules. The adoption is completed in China. You cannot impose American standards on a foreign country. Get a freaking handle on this issue... Yes, any of us can drop dead at any moment (feel free at any time to do so yourself, honey), but the fact is, morbidly obese people have a higher risk of dying than do people who are of healthy weight. And China has the right to determine what kind of adoptive parent their children will be placed with. It's kind of hard for someone who is 300 pounds to run with or after a young child who may place themselves in danger - or to be physically playful with them. It is much better to try and place the child with a parent that has a better than average chance of living to watch their kids grow up and become adults, with all the help and advice they'll need from their parents.

Solovay is a moron when it comes to international adoption. There's nothing she can do about the Chinese rules. And anyone who calls her office to complain is an idiot. She expects her office to be flooded with calls. Agencies and prospective parents wondering what happened to their rights? What the f*&# is she talking about? Last time I checked, the U.S. Constitution only said we had the right to Pursue happiness, not to be guaranteed any damn thing we want just because we're Americans. No wonder so many nations hate us. A bunch of spoiled brats throwing fits because we want our own way.

Why do people adopt from China in the first place? That is a loaded question... but not so simple as the panel would have you believe. First they call us racists because we didn't adopt a black child in foster care, but instead adopted a Chinese child. Excuse me... but someone needs to get a handle on the foster care system in this country. It's terribly difficult for a white couple to adopt a black child through foster care, because you work with a social worker who, for better or worse, believes that placing a black child in a white home is cultural genocide. Why aren't these agencies working harder to find black families to adopt these children, if that's what the social workers think!? And if that's not the case, then why don't you understand that not everyone can take a child into their home to raise and love, wanting to adopt the child, but then to have the child taken from you... not everyone has the stomach to do that.

Mondanado is another example of the fine idiocy of the left. I know of no one who has adopted a child from China expecting the child to become a doctor, that they will be more intelligent than any other child, that they'll be more lovable. Excuse me... stupid much?

Uygur: you are the biggest liberal dumbass I have heard from in a while... your comments are purely for ratings and lend no merit to the discussion. What exactly was your expertise in international adoption???? Oh... YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERTISE. Why did CNN decide you would be a good choice to comment on this? I sure as hell can't think of any.

First of all, I don't know of ANY Muslim country where international adoption is allowed on a regular basis. Go to the State Department's website and choose any Muslim country and you'll find they do not allow International Adoption to non-related foreigners, or, there are a few exceptions, but you have to officially become a Muslim yourself, and have documentation stating so. Or, it is so difficult to adopt a child from a Muslim country that it is simply not pursued due to the amount of effort that may or may not end up with a child placed with you for adoption. Did anyone think to check that out before they actually made any statements regarding adopting Muslim children? No? Anybody? Anybody? (I hear crickets in the background.)

And the remark from Martin about keeping the Muslim kid out of the chemistry class... can we be a bit more racist, please?

Why is one set of kids likely to be more healthy than another? Let's look at what happens to the child while in utero. Yes, some of their pre-determined IQ will be from heredity. But then, we have to consider what happens to the child while they are subject to everything the mother does. You get mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy (which leads to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, a combination of mental and birth defects, which is highly prevalent in Eastern European countries) , they may take drugs (such as heroin, crack, meth, opium), and don't get the proper kind of nutrition (which also leads to birth defects as well as lower IQ). Also there is the problem of heavy metals and other chemical that can be in the air or water that is part of the pregnant mother's environment. These kinds of problems are found throughout the world... and for China, the ones that most affect the children would be nutrition, air and water quality, and lastly drugs. Alcohol doesn't seem to be as big a problem in China as it does in Russian and other Eastern European nations.

Not to mention the developmental delays a lot of these children experience by being in orphanages, which further complicate any other physical, mental, or emotional problems they may have been born with. So, if someone has done their research, where in the hell do they get the idea that these kids will be healthier than say, a baby in the U.S.? To be honest, we are not seeing China's worst-case children (health-wise) being adopted internationally unless a parent chooses to adopt a special needs child. The children as a whole, as represented by the IA community, are fairly healthy, because that is what the parents have asked for - healthy children.

Our daughter came to us with some issues. She couldn't walk on her own at 18 months, a developmental issue due to orphanage care. She has allergies and asthma. She has eczema. But overall she is healthy, because that is what we asked for... a healthy child. Anyone who watches any of her videos can see she is a fairly smart kid. Is she smart because she is Chinese? I have no idea. But we have given her lots of attention, lots of learning opportunities, and have nurtured her curiosity and fed her healthy foods (and yes, she gets candy, too). Perhaps every child has a potential they are born with. How that potential is nurtured outside the womb is probably as important as what they are given via their DNA. And absolutely there is an issue as to the kind of care these children get in the orphanages. Our daughter came from a small orphanage that had 5 children to one caregiver. A darn good ratio for an orphanage.

It drives me crazy when ignorance is fashionable, and it appeared to me that no one did any homework on IA and all its complicated issues, and CNN didn't pick any experts on IA issues. Let's just put a smile on our faces, make some snide racial comments about what they believe all Americans think about the races, and voila! We are experts. Stupid liberal experts.

OH, and it seems that all of the IA parents that wrote/emailed CNN have had their voices heard... or so we think. There is to be a follow up on the story with (hopefully) some actual experts in the field on IA. This is to "redress the issue". Yeah, you should do whatever it takes to wipe the egg off of your faces so you can appear to be giving a "fair and balanced" view of what is going on here. It will air tonight from 8-9 pm on CNN.