My mother informed me that while talking with my brother Richard, she was telling him of the time that we had let Kenzie do the dishes. (To see what this is about, go to this post here.)
Before Mom could finish about that, he said "That's child abuse!" She assured him it wasn't but he was insistent that it was child abuse. As Bugs Bunny might say, "What an idiot. What a moron. What a nincompoop. What an ingnoramous."
First, I was there, and I watched as Mom monitored the temperature of the water. Second, we only allowed Kenzie to do plastic items (no metal or glass items, especially no utensils). And third, anyone who thinks they can abuse my child better be ready to forfeit their own life. However, I am a firm believer in allowing children to help with chores as they are physically capable. And Kenzie begged us to do the dishes. She was the one trying to maneuver the step stool over to the sink so she could stand there and do them. She got the biggest kick out of doing that, and she loved every minute of it.
I know my liberal, wacked out brother is off the spectrum. He has isolated himself from the family, and then blames the family for not flying out to Seattle to visit him. (Well, more like, to cater to him.) This shouldn't be a newsflash to Richard, but, mom will not fly (she hates it, is scared to death of flying, and would probably have a heart attack if she did); since marrying my husband, I consider my family to be him and our daughter, and my other brother Bill has had his own problems to deal with (how about not getting arrested any more - hard enough to spend time in your own home when you're in jail...).
Richard has made a mess of his life all on his own... and like most irresponsible people, he expects someone else to get him out of it. Of course, instead of talking about things with people like a reasonable human being, he lets it fester inside him until he blows up and then it's everyone else's fault for not doing what he wants done.
I told him previously that I could not just take off from work (this was before our adoption of our daughter) and fly out there. Also, while we were preparing for the adoption, I told him I could not help him then... I was in the middle of preparing to go to China, and he wanted me to drop all of that and fly out at his discretion.
I especially didn't like the idea of being at his whim - and if he got mad at me I was the one who would suffer more than just a headache from listening to him scream obscenities at me - and his getting mad at me was a guarantee, since I'm more conservative in my views and he always got pissed off if anyone ever said something he disagreed with or disagreed with him about what he thought was right or wrong. Let's just say I don't have STOOPID written across my forehead. (It is actually written in a little more private spot - but that's a whole 'nother blog.)
But telling Richard no and having him internalize it are two different things. He feels he is owed the right to have what he wants when he wants it. He thinks money is the prime motivator for everyone, and all he has to do is say "I'll pay you a lot of money" and people are going to take his abuse just to make a buck.
I prefer peace and quiet, thank you.
So, I actually was hoping he would do something really stupid, like report to Child Welfare that we are abusing our daughter because she did dishes. I'd love to hear them laugh at him from over the phone... because abuse really is a serious offense, and I'm sure they have far more important things to deal with than a child that loves to and takes pride in being part of a family by doing things with the family that loves her. She loves participating in family activities.
A lesson that Richard should learn from a 4 year old.