When the heck did boys become such an issue at 5 years old?
OK, my husband and I are seeing and hearing about boys that are becoming a problem for Kenzie.
First, the other day, Kenzie told me that Omar (a boy in her class) wouldn't stop touching her. I asked where he was touching her and she said on her skirt and leg. She told him to stop it but he didn't. Evidently the teacher saw what was happening and stepped in to stop it. Just to put this into perspective, Omar also went two days in a row to the principal's office.
Then yesterday, my husband took her to the park pool. First, two boys (who appeared to be older than Kenzie) surrounded her and began "petting" her and touching her. They were dragged off of Kenzie by their mom. Then a younger boy began touching her as well. Thank goodness his mom was watching, too, and stopped that as well. If I had been the one to witness this, I would have yelled at the boys right then and there - and with my face - it would have probably scared them worse than anything their mother would have done. Roy isn't quite as quick to react.
What is going on here? I know Kenzie is cute and adorable - and it scares me even more now. I keep telling Roy that she needs to be in martial arts school so she'll learn how to be more assertive and know how to protect herself from anyone who would like to take advantage of her. I know they'll teach non-lethal methods of being able to grab someones thumb or finger and twist it in a way that hurts but doesn't break anything - unless the moron wants to push the issue...
OK, I'm not advocating she kick their butts the minute they put a hand on her, but geez! If the moms aren't around and it does gets out of hand, I want her to feel she has the right (and the ability) to make sure the boys know she doesn't allow anyone to "handle" her. Most of the time, either Roy or I are around to watch her, but at school, with 21 kids in the class, the teacher may end up occupied and not able to catch it all. And I'd rather Kenzie learn how to handle it herself than become a "tattle-tale". She'll get more respect (not to mention fear from the guys). I don't want them to think she's a toy they can "play" with.
I do want her to know she can do whatever it takes to protect herself. Maybe 5 years old is too young for that... but I remember feeling helpless at 5 not knowing what to do or that I was even entitled to protect myself. I don't want that for her.
I remember when I was 21, and I worked for the state highway department (in the office, not out on the roads with the guys). I worked for a subdistrict, and one of the girls working in the office with me was dating a guy who worked for the district office (no, he was not her boss). We were supposed to meet one evening at a bar for some camaraderie and to listen to my boyfriend's band playing . Now, you got to understand, I weighed 105 pounds at the time. This guy came up out of his chair to "greet" me with "Howdy, sweetheart!" and grabbed my butt with one of his huge paws. Without a second thought and as fast as you could say "What the?" I turned into him with my fist at the ready, and pulled my punch at the last second to not hit him in the nose but in the chest - with as much force behind that punch that my body could muster. And I DON'T hit like a girl - I hit like a man - straight on - no round punches. I knocked the wind out of him, and he had a HUGE bruise on his chest for three weeks. But I guaran-damn-tee you he didn't ever try to disrespect me again. Forever after that, he addressed me as " Miss Julie" and he kept his hands to himself.
I want my daughter to know she has that kind of freedom and to have the ability to use it.
I want her to be empowered.