I just want to hide somewhere

I don't feel like posting much - but sure wish I could hide in a hole for awhile.

Mom's going back in for surgery soon for a total shoulder replacement, the last one and hopefully it will make her life better. I wish she had done this four years ago when she first started having problems with her shoulders... but she was acting more like a little kid than an adult at that time. After letting the problem worsen with time, she finally came to the conclusion (when the pain got so great that she was in tears on a daily basis) that she needed to have the surgery. After the first shoulder was done, and she saw what a difference it made in her level of pain and her ability to do certain tasks, she was ready to jump in and get the other one done right away.

My brother Richard is finally calling mom again (after not having called her since Christmas day of 2007). On Christmas day, all he could do is tell her that it made him mad that she always took my side and not his. Now, does that sound like a mature, 49 year old man? Ummmm...... Nope. More like a 8 year old child. It's not a matter of mom taking sides. It's a matter of him acting like a jerk and treating mom badly when things don't go his way. And she isn't going to put up with it.

Now he's calling mom and is asking a thousand questions about Kenzie. I have forbidden mom to talk about her any more with him. My instincts have been dead on with my brothers since all this trouble started - and I'm never wrong about what is going on. Richard is fishing for something to hang on me. He's trying once again to get me into some kind of trouble. What he doesn't realize is that both he and Bill are just widening the gap between her and them. Anything that would hurt me would hurt Kenzie, and that is the last straw. If it goes any further with any other unsubstantiated allegations to any authorities, I get a really good bastard lawyer with a tough law firm and file charges. Defamation, harrassment, slander - whatever I can put in the suit.

There wasn't any referral this month - OBVIOUSLY - or I would have screamed it from the mountain tops. So now I feel like crawling into a little hole and just hibernating until the next round of referrals come. However, I really don't expect it to be coming in May. More like June (what a great birthday gift for me).

And with my job going to hourly and no more time off, any time I take off to help mom is time I don't get paid. However, I am there to help mom... and that is what I have to do.

Here's to hoping that things will look up once mom has the operation and can get back home from rehab.