Adoption Agency Reunion Picnic - July 28

Our adoption agency has a picnic event once a year in July, and I have taken Kenzie three times in the last four picnics they've had. The first picnic I might have attended with her, in 2004, was just too soon after returning from China, and I was still suffering from jet lag still.

This year was the best one ever. We got to see one of our facilitators from China - Genie! We absolutely love her still... and she is one of the most outstanding people we've met in our lives. We truly hope that if we get to go back to China, we can hire her to take us around to places we want to see and go... she would be an awesome guide. And for us, it would be a dream come true.

We also got to see three of our friends who adopted in our travel group. All the kids were from Hunan - the three little girls were from Yongzhou, and our daughter is from Changsha #2.

I have pics below from the picnic. Not many, because my Nikon 8700 BROKE after taking the pics of the four kids together. AAAAAAGHH! I purchased a 5 year warranty with it... and hopefully that will cover what went wrong. (I have tears in my eyes... I wanted to take more pics!)

I also have two short videos - one with Kenzie and Genie! Hugs and Kisses to you Genie!

The latest dope on the brothers

Well, it just gets better and better.

My youngest brother has now filed bankruptcy -for the third time in his life. I find that apropos, since he has never taken any responsibility for any of his failings in life. It's always someone else's fault as far as he is concerned.

My brother Richard showed up at mom's house at around 11 pm last Sunday night. She was trying to go to bed. (Richard is always on Richard-time - there is no other time zone in his eyes, and everyone is supposed to accomodate him.)

He told mom that he wanted to apologize for how he talked to her the last time (calling her a whore, slut, bitch, etc.) He said he did it to make Bill feel good because he felt sorry for Bill. He also said that he had listened to Bill talk shit about me and he fell for it. And he said that alot of what Bill is doing is because of Erika, his wife.

WTF?????????????

Yeah, and we also believe in the tooth fairy, right?

That is the lamest, worst and most F---ed up excuse I have ever heard in my life.

A MAN doesn't try to placate or play to the sympathies of scum in the family just to make them feel better at the expense of his mother, who never did anything to hurt him. A real man would have re-arranged things so he could have visited or helped out. A real man would not give her reason to stress so she could recover more quickly from her surgery. A real man wouldn't try to manipulate her and the entire situation to the detriment of other family members. But Richard isn't a real man. And now everyone knows it. Hell, I've got more balls than he ever had - and perhaps that's why he's jealous of everything I have and am.

I can tell you that it was Richard who trash-talked about me to Bill, back in 2005, and Richard is the one who got Bill so mad at me that he now hates me beyond redemption. Richard is the one who instigated this division in the family.

To top matters off, Richard shows his true colors and blames Bill's wife (who is African-American, by the way - and Richard hates anyone of any color, nationality, ethnicity, or religion that either isn't white or a yes-person to Richard's idealogy) for leading Bill into trying to get mom to make him Power of Attorney and cut me out of the will.

Richard forgets he shot off his mouth to mom's neighbor. He told her that Erika liked him and that they were "friends" because he bought her a designer handbag. That was a very uncomplimentary thing to say. He basically told the neighbor that Erika was so weak and easily manipulated that her loyalties could be bought with a simple gift. (Notice Richard did not say he liked Erika....)

Furthermore, Richard is trying to make himself out to be an innocent bystander. Again, he forgets that he talked to the neighbor. He forgets that after mom told Bill what the neighbor said, he called the neighbor and told her that she should just stay out of their business when it came to mom, that they (meaning Richard and Bill) knew what was best for mom, and that Bill would be the best choice for Power of Attorney. That doesn't sound like someone who is innocent in all this - it appears to me that someone who is that involved to tell a friend of mother's to "back-off" is up to his eyeballs in taking charge of the deception and conspiracy (and crap) that is surrounding my mom.

Innocent my ass..... and my ass has seen enough shit in its 51 years that there is no innocence left in my world. Sorry - that was probably a bit more graphic than I intended it to be.

Here's my take on all of this.

I say that since Richard couldn't manipulate mom through Bill (and Richard has played Bill like a fiddle - oh I just couldn't resist that, since Richard is a violin broker) he decided to just go straight to the source of his disdain and try to manipulate mom himself. Now I am worried that she will end up in trouble - not because she will capitulate to Richard, but because she won't. And Richard has a horrible temper - and I fear he may lose his "self control" (what thinly veiled amount there is) and hurt her. But I have nothing to pin this feeling on... just my gut feelings.

Richard thinks mom is a fool and can be made to do his bidding. I personally think he's wrong.

Bastards for brothers

It pains me to say this, but I have two bastards for brothers. Bastards in the sense that they are willing to make false claims about our home and our treatment of our daughter to the Department of Child Services, just to hurt us. What they did was hurt and anger our mother and most importantly, they hurt my daughter.

My youngest brother had earlier in the month of June made the claim to my mother that he had seen me wiping out her car with a towel because I had left the top open during a thunderstorm and now it had extensive water damage. (My mother at this time was still at the rehab place and still not capable of thinking in any logical sort of way.) I tried to tell mom that it wasn't true, and she could see for herself, but she would have none of it. She wanted her car back in her garage. (I had been driving it because she needed to go to doctor's appointments or wanted to go out to eat, and it would have been impossible to take her, my daughter, and me in a two-seater truck.)

I took the car back and left mom alone, not going in to see her at her rehab place. My brother Bill took over. He brought her home when she was ready... and then he and his wife Erika stayed with mom several nights. They finally began to pressure her to make him Power of Attorney (I am currently Power of Attorney) and to cut me out of the will. (I will say that no matter how bad it has been between my brothers and me, I have never asked mom at any time to cut them out of the will or trust... that in the end, they would find that I would take my duties as Executrix and survivor Trustee seriously, and everything was going to be distributed as mom had wished.)

I think at that point, my mother knew she'd made a horrible mistake by believing Bill had her best interests at heart. She had called her neighbor and asked her what to do or think. Her neighbor counseled her not to give Power of Attorney to Bill, but if it was such a problem, then she should speak to her lawyer. Mom's neighbor also asked that she not tell Bill what she had said.

But mom didn't remember that request, and Bill found out. It wasn't too much longer before the older brother, Richard, called mom's neighbor and told her to mind her own business, that "we know what's best for mom" and Bill would be the better choice as Power of Attorney. Which is absolutely laughable.

You see, Bill can't even handle his own finances, let alone mother's. Years ago, he got himself into financial difficulty and filed Chapter 13 bankruptcy, then decided to file Chapter 7 so he could wipe the slate clean and buy new stuff on credit. He also ended up getting in trouble at work, for which they suspended him without pay for 6 months (he told the family he was "laid off" due to a lack of work - not the truth). He had to find two or three part time jobs just to make ends meet. Once he began working his regular job again, he bought a house. Things were fine until he bought a lot of mowing equipment to start his own business on the side. He then got himself into legal trouble (charged with Intimidation and Criminal Recklessness, Class C and Class D felonies). He finally entered into a plea agreement, changing the charge to Criminal Recklessness Class A Misdemeanor and one year of probation.

Of course, he was required to wear an ankle bracelet. When that was taken off, he went out to play pool with his fiance and the next day was tested for alcohol in his system (he wasn't supposed to drink any alcohol during his probationary period). He tested positive, and his excuse was that a doctor had prescribed cough syrup with alcohol in it. That proved to be a false statement - found out he'd been drinking beer when playing pool. So then they put him in a program where he had to stay in a half-way house for alcoholics and the only place he was allowd to go was to work. Somewhere in all this, his place of employment put him on days - so he lost his night bonus... and if memory serves me correctly, he also was not given any overtime. He was released from his probation just after January 1st this year.

Somewhere in all this mess, he has defaulted on loans. His house is currently in foreclosure proceedings.

And HE wants Power of Attorney.

I was at mom's house on June 26th, and we had been having a wonderful visit and reconciliation. I admitted that my pride tended to get in the way of my common sense, and I apologized to her. Pride is my worst sin, and the reason why I believe that I can only try to mitigate what level of hell I end up in, rather than ever being allowed into heaven.

What I had found out about Bill's stay with mother was, when he had been at mom's house after bringing her home, he had done some work for her. Mom offered to pay him, but instead he wanted one of the cans of silver coins that dad had collected when back in the early 70's he had speculated silver would increase in cost. (OK, dad was right, only he was 30+ years too early... so, not in time for dad to realize any potential profit.) Mom said Bill could take one can. While I was there on June 26, he called her and told her that the silver was worth a lot of money (no shit, Sherlock) and she should let him sell it for her so she could get some money out of it.


Now, my mother's best friend Phyllis was there when he called, as was I, and we both agreed that if mom let Bill have the silver, she wouldn't see very much of the proceeds from it, if any. Phyllis urged mom NOT to give it to Bill. I was in total agreement. I was aghast that my brother would be charging my mom to do things for her while she was still in a recovery stage from open heart surgery - or for any reason at all. She is his mother and deserved more respect than that.

She moved the money to a safe place. I'm not telling where, but it would be next to impossible to find it. She decided that she was not going to be taken advantage of any longer.

Later that evening, on the 26th, Bill called her to ask if she had made him Power of Attorney yet. She said no, she wasn't going to do it. He got extremely angry with her. And then he had the audacity to say that mom didn't pay his (now) wife enough to help her out with her medications.

Supposedly, Erika had come to her house to get her medications in order in her pill box. The truth is, I had already done that when mom had gone home temporarily on May 13. The meds were almost identical except for the coumadin she was taking. There was actually very little that Erika had to do. She did create a large poster board with her meds listed and the time to take them, but even that has changed since it was created - so it wasn't exactly a good solution to mom's problem. Mom had paid Erika $50 for doing this.

It is outrageous that mom was "charged" to do this. When I'd brought mom home on May 13, I bought her groceries, cooked her supper, washed her dishes, put some of her clothes away, took her trash around to the front for the garbage men the next day (and there was a LOT of stinky trash), and I fixed her pillboxes with her meds. I never asked for nor expected one cent for any of this. I did it because she was my mother and needed my help. I would do the same for my husband's mother, if needed. This, in my opinion, is the definition of what FAMILY does for one another in times of need.

Needless to say, Bill was upset and furious that mom wasn't going to capitulate to him.

Mom hung up from that conversation. Not too much longer after she'd hung up, she got a call from Richard, who began screaming that she was a whore, a slut, a bitch and she was called quite a few other names before she said she didn't have to listen to it and hung up on him. Richard, being ever the narcissist, tried to call back and mom just ended up hanging up on him again.

Here's something you should know about Richard. He told my mother's best friend that he was a millionaire. He bought a Mercedes and the money was just rolling in. He told my mother's neighbor that he was rich beyond his wildest dreams, a millionaire, and he was going to buy two mansions in Indianapolis - one for his doctor boyfriend (yes, Richard is gay) and one for him and mom to live in. The one he was buying for mom and him would have a swimming pool in the back and she could go swimming any time she liked. (Hair stands up on the back of my neck when I hear this - mom does not swim - can't even float, and doesn't want to learn at 72 years old.) Then he called one of our aunts and told her that he couldn't afford to come out and see mom because it was too expensive, he couldn't afford an airline ticket and gas cost too much. Then he called mom and said he couldn't come out to see her because I would make trouble for him. Which story does one believe? And if Richard is so rich, why doesn't HE bail Bill out of his troubles? Bill isn't smart enough to figure that one out for himself. Unless Richard is giving Bill the "I'm too poor" excuse.

I had earlier in the day told mom that, after hearing what her neighbor said about Richard telling her to "butt out" (in so many words), I believed Richard was behind Bill's lies and was manipulating Bill to get her to give him Power of Attorney. Bill is not smart enough to come up with this on his own. And Richard thinks he's smarter than all the rest of the world combined. Bill is easily led into believing or doing whatever others want him to believe or do when people around him play on his status as a victim. Tug that invisible ring through his nose and he just blindly follows along.

Mom called me that night to tell me about the phone calls from Bill and then Richard. All I could say was, the phone call from Richard just proved to me that he was behind it all and now he's mad that mom didn't go along with it. He obviously thinks she's either incredibly stupid or so out of it she doesn't know up from down. He is wrong.... very wrong.

The next evening, on the 27th, when I was sitting in the living room with my husband, I told him I fully expected that their next move would be to call Child Protective Services on us with some complaint, to which my husband replied, "Nooooo, they wouldn't go that far, would they?"

Ahem....

Kenzie and I spent July 1 through the 3rd with mom, helping take her to appointments she had and taking care of anything she needed done (like refilling prescriptions). Tuesday evening, I saw I had a voicemail on my cell phone, to which I called and heard Roy say he needed to talk with me. I called and he wanted to know when I was coming home. He needed to show me something, but didn't want to discuss it on the phone. Then I called him back and said I need to know what is going on. He told me that he had found a note on our door from a social worker and it said they needed to come talk with us about allegations made about us abusing and neglecting our daughter.

All I could say was, "What did I tell you last week? Didn't I say this would happen?"

I told mom about it... and Kenzie overheard. She began to cry and say she didn't want to be taken from me - heartbreaking tears and sobbing, clinging to my neck. I held her and told her that in NO WAY was anyone ever going to take her from us. We were her parents, and we were GOOD parents, and there was no reason for anyone to think we weren't. No one would ever take her from her family or home. Later, when driving home, she said, "Bill and Richard are mean men!"

I agree with her wholeheartedly.

My mother called her neighbor and told her what had happened. That's when her neighbor blurted out, " Oh my God, he did say he was going to do that. I just though he was mad and blowing off steam. I didn't pay it any attention." What Richard had said was that he was going to call child welfare on me because I deserved it and was mentally ill.

I dunno... for people who have read this blog, I don't think I rise to the level of mental illness. Certifiably crazy in love with our daughter - but not mentally ill.

Well, suffice it to say we saw the social worker on Friday, July 6. She came and told us of the allegations. Both allegations had a small kernel of truth to them, but each was shown to be unsubstantiated. For one of the allegations, we had previously had two social workers at our homes approving us for adoption, and we had fully disclosed to them an issue that was found to be okay by them... and now by the social worker from the Department of Child Services.

I don't understand how they thought this would help them. They just appear to be hateful, vengeful, and spiteful. When hate takes over your life, then there is no room for logic, reason or sense. And no compassion - they simply have a feeling of entitlement and rage.

I have a few opinions as to what comes next... I won't list them here, but I know this won't be the last of it.

Do I hear offers from Lifetime for the rights to a made for TV movie?

June 14, 2007 made 3 years as a family. (Kenzie was adopted on June 14, 2004.) I was up in the middle of the night for two nights in a row and had to get up extremely early this morning to finish this video. It has pictures in chronological order of month/year from when we adopted Kenzie in China to the present (actually the last picture was taken last Tuesday, the 12th!)

This brought me so much joy to make, remembering all the fun we had, and knowing that there will be more fun in the future for us.

My first video using my macbook...

For some ungodly reason, I have come to think that writing in my blog is harder than doing a video... which doesn't make sense to me, because it takes far longer to make the video, then download it, then edit it, then review and refine, then create the type of file I want it to be, and then to upload it to Youtube. It could take me probably 1/10th of the time to just write what I want to say, but NooOOOOoooo~ I'd rather do it on video. One of my few creative outlets these days.

Well, here's what I did at around 4 am in the morning (last week) playing around with my macbook. I am having the most wonderful time with this mac - and I love how it has worked so far. It has been a lot of fun. OH, and the cat is out of the bag... my husband now knows I have TWO laptops.. an HP and the Macbook. Oh, well... he was going to find out sooner or later... I guess for his sake, we can use the HP for him. But I want to keep the mac for me.

These were my ramblings at 4 am in the morning about China and the issues surrounding abandonment/IA/similarities and differences in our attitudes toward children. Not too coherant and could have fleshed it out a little, but I think people will get the drift of how I feel about things.

Harrodsburg Heritage Festival

Last Saturday, we went to Harrodsburg IN to have some fun with their Heritage Festival. This is a very small little rural community now. It wasn't always like that... there used to be a railroad that went through the town, and from what I understand, it was quite an active place to go to.

Today, if you are driving through, if you blink, you'd miss it.

The parade wasn't much, but just about everyone in the parade was throwing candy to the kids (and a lot of the adults were running after it, too!) Here's a clip I made showing almost the whole thing (edited for brevity - no need to show the long wait between each fire truck or Kenzie running after all the candy.)

What I won't do for my daughter....

I just pre-ordered tickets for the Doodlebops, who are going to be performing live at the IU Auditorium next year in January!!!!!

For those of you who are yet uninitiated to the world of children's TV shows, the Doodlebops are a trio of colorful (and by colorful I mean one is pink, one is blue and one is orange) characters who play instruments and sing and teach a lesson in the "escapades" they get themselves into. They are on the Disney channel... and Kenzie LOVES them.

When she saw the booklet from the Auditorium and found the Doodlebops - she went nuts. She'll be absolutely beside herself.

Reminds me of the first time we took her to the Auditorium to see a live show. It was Clifford the Big Red Dog. When we walked in, she almost hyperventilated (literally) she was so excited... and that was just over the merchandise. When watching the show, she was mesmerized... she could hardly move it was so fascinating to her. (Sorry to say, Mom and Dad were bored to tears - it was a horrible performance. Glad I had balcony seats and not front row seats - huge difference in price!)

The next live performance we took her to was Dora the Explorer and the Pirate Adventure. Now, that was a performance that we all enjoyed... it was very well done, and I had seats near the front (5 rows back and on the aisle).

I'm not much on these shows or cartoons, but I never got to see anything like this when I was a kid... I guess a part of me is living vicariously through her. I love to see her face light up.

I figure as long as I can afford it, I will be taking her (and hopefully one day her little-sister-to-be Josie, if the CCAA permits!) to these performances. Although the seating may go back to balcony tickets once Josie gets here.

OMG - I bought a Mac

What the hell am I thinking? I bought a Macbook. Used. I am a PC person from the very beginning since there have been computers used in a work environment... and this is my first Mac. I wanted something that I could do movies on - something that would look MORE professional than what I have been using on my PC at home.

Time will tell if I can figure out a Mac or not. It's supposed to be easy... HA! Even PC's mess with my head... and Mac isn't the same as a PC, so.... I'll give it a try.

What the hell was I thinking?



My head hurts. (and a P.S. - only the pics were taken with the Mac's photobooth. I had to transfer them to a PC to render and upload... don't have the knack of the Mac yet.)

Our annual trip to the zoo

Well, we finally got out the door early enough this year to actually DO some of the things the zoo has for people while they are there in the morning.

One of the things I've been wanting Kenzie to get a chance to do is feed the giraffes and see one of the elephants get washed. Best part is that they allowed people to come up and touch the elephant. That was an awesome experience. Her skin, although tough, was alot more pliant and softer than I had imagined it would be. Definitely worth doing. Here are some short clips of the day.

The best age for a child (IMO)

Aaaaaahhhh! I love children. Especially when they are at a certain age...

Under a year, they are cute, but there's not a lot I can interact with. They are still learning - how to talk, how to walk, and what will get your attention.

But from one to two years old... even the temper tantrums are easy to deal with (I usually chuckle through them, but never give in to a tantrum). But at this age, they are really showing their personality, and that spark of learning seems to just ignite into a wildfire. The innocence, the wonder, the abandon of just being a child. I love it.

Then they get that language thing under control, and they learn to argue. I'm not experienced enough to know how to stand firm without arguing. This morning's episode went like this....

Me: Ok, let's go. You can't take two [stuffed] animals to daycare.
Choose one.
K: But mommy, I need my backpack. [That way she can stuff
both animals into the backpack and take both at the same time.]
Me: Sorry, but we have to go now.
K: [Tears at her eyes] But I want my backpack.
Me: You should have thought of that when you were running
around playing and not finding your shoes like I asked
you to earlier.
K: [Now firmly stated - no tears.] I want my backpack.
Me: No. Let's go. C'mon!
K: I want my back pack. [More backbone with this statement.]
Me: OK, see you later. Have fun today. [Start walking towards the garage door. Understand, daddy is upstairs getting ready for work, so I am NOT intending to leave her alone at home.]
K: OK mommy. [Hurries to catch up and takes the largest of
the stuffed animals with her.]

One of these days, she's not going to fall for the "see you later" routine, and she'll be smart enough to call my bluff. Wonder what I'll come up with then.

I am such a mean mommy.

Words of wisdom

Back when my father was lying in a hospital bed dying from complications caused by his diabetes and God only knows what else, my mother had a moment of clarity and went to a lawyer to have them draw up a Durable General Power of Attorney for herself. She appointed me as her Attorney in Fact.

This instrument basically gave me the power to handle her affairs when she would be unable to - to pay bills, contract with service and care providers, sell or purchase assets for her, make arrangements for her medical care and general welfare - anything that might happen where she was not able to do these things for herself.

I would encourage anyone who is elderly and has an estate that would need looking after or concerns that they might be in a position someday where they physically or mentally could not make decisions or manage their general health and welfare issues to create this power of attorney with someone you trust. Emphasis on TRUST... because it could be used by someone who would be unscrupulous and take advantage of your vulnerability.

I am grateful that my mother trusted me. I know Dad had some influence regarding this. She hasn't always used me as a sounding board for everything she's done, but she knows I will be straight with her and that I won't try to cheat her of her money or other assets.

I know she is depending on me to look out for her. And I don't take that trust lightly.

I guess I'm now of that generation where I'm "between". I care for my 4 year old daughter, and my 72 year old mother. I am hoping that the elderly one will be independent before the younger one is.

Need to change a remark I made

Found out last night that the brother whom I called a "self-centered prick" DID go see mom on Sunday evening. However, I will temper that with the fact that his wife's youngest son is in Riley hospital - so they were in Indy anyway. I'm just glad he went to see her... I know it means a lot to her to have friends and family there.

The responsibilitiy of the children

First, thanks to everyone who prayed for my mother.

I went on Saturday to see mom, with Kenzie in tow. That day was weird, because when I walked in, mom seemed to be in a fog. Her best and oldest friend was there as well has her neighbor, who was also a good friend to mom. They didn' tell me until later, but they also noticed what I noticed throughout the day. Mom wasn't quite herself.

She kept asking to be taken up to her room. I kept telling her she was in her room, to which she would say, "No I'm not! My room is upstairs across the hall." Then she would say that she wanted to get her feet off of the ottoman, or to stand up out of her chair. She was lying in her hospital bed.

She kept asking why she was there. (You had surgery on your heart, mom. To which she would reply "I did?") And then wanted to know why I was there. (Because you had surgery on your heart, mom.) And then began scolding me later (why is Kenzie still up? She should be in bed right now!) Uh, mom... it's 4:10 in the afternoon. It's alright that she's awake right now.

She knew what year it was, but not the month. She knew she what hospital she was at, but not where it was located. She didn't know what floor she was on.

She also wanted to tell me that they had moved her all over the hospital and she's had several rooms before this one. (No, they had you in SICU and then moved you to this room - those are the only two rooms you've had.) Like I said, Saturday, Mom was in a fog.

Worse yet... the nurse had her sitting up in a chair and told mom that she was to sit there and she'd eat her supper there and wouldn't be allowed to get back into bed until after she ate supper. And, if she needed anything, she was to buzz the nurse. Mom sat there for about 10 minutes and then said, "I'm getting back into bed."

I told her she was supposed to sit there until after she ate supper, but she got mad and said again she was going to get back into bed, she was tired of sitting up. I told her if she wanted to do anything, she had to buzz the nurse, and I gave her the remote so she could do that.

The nurse came in and told her the same thing - she couldn't get up on her own and she had to sit there. The nurse wasn't being mean. Mom had to sit up to get her strength built up - she couldn't just lay there all day long and sleep. She'd get pneumonia for sure.

But Sunday was different. I walked in and saw immediately she was back to her old self (more or less) and at least she had her wits about her. But she's still not able to do much walking. Her arthritic knees are hurting so badly that it's hard for her to walk right now. And she's not allowed to pull herself up, she is supposed to hold on to a pillow in front of her and the nurses are supposed to help her get up (at least at this point). But darned if she doesn't keep trying to pull herself up. If she doesn't break the sternum, she's going to warp it. I'm scared she'll strain so hard that she'll rip the bypasses loose and she'll bleed to death.

Well, here's the proof she's on the mend. Hey, not bad looking for 72 years old!




Now I am responsible for trying to find her a facility where she can get extra care beyond the hospital. They all agree she isn't ready to go home yet (not when she can only take 2" steps and it takes her 5 minutes to walk 8 feet to the toilet, and that's with help). I never knew how much work and worry would go into this - but I have to get her into a place where they can do sub-acute physical therapy for her. She has to be able to get up and walk on her own, and to fix meals for herself or drive or whatever. Trouble is, I want her down here and there are no rooms currently available in the good facilites. I'm praying that something opens up so that she can be here and near family.

On another note, Saturday evening I called both my brothers to let them know how mom was doing and asked them to give her a call at the hospital. Kenzie got to talk with both of them and told them about the tube that was allowing blood to drain from the operating site (she said "They sucked blood out of Memaw!")

One brother lives in the same town as I do, and he won't take the time to go see her. Hmmmm.... the words "self-centered prick" comes to mind. I'm sure he's still mad at Mom because she told him if he got in trouble either financially or with the law again, she wasn't going to bail him out any more and not to ask her for any more money. Both she and Dad had bailed him out of trouble so many times it's ridiculous.

The other brother lives in Seattle, Washington, so it would be a little harder for him to make it. But the least they could do would be to call her and talk with her. Even just for 10 minutes. She would love to hear from them.

This morning Kenzie was particularly quiet. I asked her, "Were you afraid of Memaw at the hospital?"

She said yes. I asked her if it was because she'd had an operation and had all the tubes coming out of her and the fact that she had a big cut on her. She said yes, and then,

"Why did Memaw have to be cut open?"

"Because they did an operation on her heart. She had a bad heart and they had to fix it."

"Because she didn't take care of herself? Like your daddy had a bad heart - but he ate a lot of candy and pretzels and stuff."

"Yes, but they are trying to help Memaw get better. I want her to stay around for awhile so you and she can have fun together and she can go home. And this is why we eat good foods."

"Yeah, it's okay to have a little bit of candy, but only a little bit. We have to eat mostly good things."

That's right, sweetie. I want my daughter to grow up understanding how our habits and diets affect our health. I think at four, she understands quite a bit.

Friday the 13th is always good luck

So many people have fun with Friday the 13th, touting the bad luck stuff... but it has always been good for me.

My mother was moved this morning from her room in SICU to a step down room, where she is doing really well from her surgery. Progress is slow, but she is healing and is able now to have visitors - even Kenzie can go in to see her.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for her... she had a lot of people praying who cared. I wanted her to get through this for her granddaughter. Kenzie loves her Memaw and it would have been a blow to not have her Memaw around anymore.

We'll go see her this weekend and spend Saturday and Sunday with her.

Open heart surgery

I have been at a hospital for two days. Not for me, but my mother. She went to a doctor to see about having surgery for her shoulders (she no longer has the ball part of her humerus that fits into the socket - and that affects both arms). They had done a stress test to check her heart to see of it was strong enough to handle the surgery... and found something questionable. She went to her heart doctor right away with it and he did a catheterization. Lo and behold, they found 3 blocked arteries - 85%, 95% and 95%. Yikes. They scheduled her for open heart surgery for one week later. That was yesterday.

I never knew how stressful waiting was... but it was hard to be sitting around waiting to hear something (anything) about how she was doing. They got started late on her, but around 3 pm the doctor came out and confirmed that she got through the operation fine and they had no trouble. However, when they opened her up, they found she had to have 4 bypasses, not just one. She had been a walking time bomb.

She had always complained about how tired she was, and she was always out of breath from walking or doing any kind of exertion. No one suspected it was a problem with her heart. My mother was lucky to have found this out BEFORE she'd had a heart attack.

I can't go see her today or tomorrow, but I'll try to go up on Saturday and Sunday. I have to have Kenzie with me, but they do not let any child under 14 in the SICU. Hopefully, there will be a friend or relative who will come up, or maybe there will be someone who can watch Kenzie while I go in for 5 minutes to see her. (My husband does taxes and this is CRUNCH time... I'll be spending the weekend at my mother's house while he works at getting out tax returns.)

Although she got out of the surgery okay, the next few days will tell if things are going to turn around for her. The tricky part is to take her off of the ventilator and the medications they are giving her and see if she can do well. I am praying that her body is strong enough and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get herself going again.

Whirlwind of events...

Last Friday, we got Kenzie's pics taken at the Sears Portrait studio. I had seen friends' pics done by them and I was really impressed. So I paid the big bucks to do a complete photo shoot.

I have to say I was quite impressed. The young girl who was taking the pictures was quite sweet and was pretty good with Kenzie. However, she was wanting to have every picture with a "pretty princess smile". Needless to say, Kenzie got sick of hearing it. She finally just laid down and gave her a look. As she was trying to get my daughter to stand up, I leaned over and said gently, "Just take the picture." Here is the result.



And so it went. Kenzie was quite cooperative through most of it... but every once in a while she'd do something and I'd have to tell the girl to take the picture. Part of this comes from my own experience of knowing my daughter and taking thousands upon thousands of pictures of her for the last 2 1/2 years. So, Kenzie got the point that she didn't have to smile all the time, and that's when she began to enjoy it more. The difference between how Sears handled taking photos and Walmart handled taking photos was a world apart. And the quality of the photos from Sears was phenomenal. Plus, for a price, I got a CD of all the photos they took, so I could print out my own pictures. Sears was a lot more expensive, but I will NEVER go back to Walmart again for photos.

I have the other photos I liked real well below:








Last night, I heard from my mother. She was supposed to be having surgery on her shoulders this week, but last week one of the tests they ran on her heart showed an anomaly they wanted her heart doctor to check out. She had an angioplasty and found that she has 3 arteries severely blocked (85%, 95% & 95%). It's a wonder she didn't have a heart attack already. So, she is scheduled to have open heart surgery one week from today. I'll be there with Kenzie for support. Although there probably won't be much we can do after she first comes out of surgery except smile, tell her we love her, and make sure she is comfortable. Looks like I need to go buy a portable DVD player so Kenzie can watch her cartoons and movies.

I guess in a way, this is a blessing. Her heart problems were found prior to her having a major heart attack. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer for her. Her name is Treva and she needs as much prayer as anyone can give.

New Rules for China Adoption

I have a condensed version of the new rules for adoption from China. These rules are issued by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA). Many people wish to adopt, but many will not be able to when these new rules go into effect May 1, 2007. No more singles, the CCAA has become more strict about having age limits and length of marriage, a mandatory net worth requirement, stricter criminal history requirements, and specific health requirements. Had this been in place when we adopted Kenzie in 2004 - well, we wouldn't have been able to adopt at all because of my husband's age. We're still worried that it may not happen. We are capable (and healthy, financially secure, etc) of parenting another child. I hope the CCAA meant it when they said that those whose dossiers are in waiting are grandfathered.

According to the Chinese Adoption Law and current practice in China, in order to adopt from China:

* Both adopting parents must be at least 30 years of age and under 50 years of age.
* For Special Needs, both adopting parents must be between at least 30 years of age and under
55 years of age.
* Each parent must be at least a high school graduate.
* A stable marriage of at least two years should be evidenced. If either parent has been
divorced, you must be married for five years. You may have no more than two prior
marriages each.
* You must be financially stable, with an annual income that exceeds $10,000 per household
member (including the child you plan to adopt).
* You must have a net worth of over $80,000.
* Families with fewer than 5 children at home are permitted to adopt.
* Neither parent can have a criminal history with the exception of a DUI more than 10 years
ago.
* Both parents must be healthy, without evidence of any mental or physcial illness that will
affect their life span or ability to parent in any way, including conditions that require
permanent medical treatment or medication.

I have a list of things here that were previously posted on one of the Yahoo boards of illnesses that the CCAA considers disqualifying:

1. AIDS;
2. Mental handicap;
3. Infectious disease within infective stage;
4. Binocular blind or binocular parallax or monocular blind and with
no ocular prosthesis;
5. Binaural hearing loss or language function loss; adoption of
special needs children who have identical conditions will be exempt
from this limitation;
6. Afunction or dysfunction of limbs or trunk caused by impairment,
incompleteness, numbness or deformation; severe facial deformation;
7. Severe diseases which require long term treatment and which
affect life expectancy, like malignant tumor, lupus erythematosus,
nephrosis, epilepsy, and ect.;
8. Post-surgery of major organs transplantation, not yet 10 years;
9. Schizophrenia;
10. Medication for severe mental disorders, like depression, mania,
or anxiety neurosis and etc. stopped not more than 2 years;

* You must have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 40. You can go here to determine your BMI.


Just thought anyone wondering what it would take to adopt would appreciate knowing.

Lunar New Year...

I know I'm so late in posting this. Our local public library has a program that features children performing songs or skits for Lunar New Year. This year, there was a Korean school that had their students sing a song, and a Mandarin class that had their students do a "song" - actually it was spoken, not sung.

Then they had a couple of the college students do a Lion Dance. It wasn't very fancy, but cute. Everyone enjoyed it. Afterwards, they had crafts and some snacks (Chinese and Korean in nature)... that was yummy.

Here is the video for the Lion Dance.





Then when we had our local FCC (Families with Chinese Children) group's Lunar New Year celebration so all the adopted Chinese girls could get together and play - and the adults actually get to have adult time together... LOL! One of the mothers, Cindy, had bought a small lion costume and guess what all the kids wanted to play with!?!!! Kenzie is in the rear... She was so excited to be part of the lion.

Twisted Fairy Tales

When we brought home our daughter, it wasn't too long before we began telling bedtime stories. Or rather, Mommy would read her one from a book, and Daddy would tell her one. But poor Daddy, after the 5,728th time of telling Little Red Riding Hood, or the Three Bears, or the Three Pigs, or Billy Goats Gruff, he decided to mix it up a little. As he began mixing it up, at first, Kenzie fought against the mixing of stories, and was upset that he didn't tell the story "right," but after awhile, she caught on, as Mommy also got in on the act and started adding silly stuff. So... she began enjoying the stories and adding her own special touches.

This is one of the evenings I recorded with the infrared - so technically, we were in a dark room, but you can get in on the fun. She was so hyper that night... You'll wonder how she ever got to sleep after watching this. But I hope you can follow along and enjoy the story and it's crazy, weird mix... as well as our daughter's antics.

It looks like a white thread....

Aaaaaaahhhh, the perks of motherhood!



The other day my daughter was brushing my hair and said, "Mommy! There's something in your hair!"


M: What is it?
K: I don't know.. but it's white.
M: Well, can you put your finger on it and show Mommy where it is?
K: Yeah..
M: Do you have it?
K: Yeah!


So I go poking my finger all over the top of my head going, "Is it here? Is it here?" and she replies "No" each time.


I got a little frustrated because I couldn't "find" it.


M: Do you have your finger on it?
K: Yeah, I'm holding it.
M: Can you take it off?
K: I'm trying, but it's stuck.
M: (dreading the answer) What does it look like?
K: It looks like a white thread and its stuck to your head.


Well folks, I never thought of myself as a vain person... but I have to say that I had always prided myself in the fact that here I was 50 years old and never had one single white or gray hair... until now.


M: Can you pull it out Kenzie?
K: Yeah.. I'll try.


Ripping noises and pain ensues...

She had a handful of hair, but not the one I wanted to get out.

K: Want me to pull again?
M: NO, no... that's okay honey. (OUCH!) Well, it looks like Mommy is going to have to buy some hair dye.


Kenzie gave me a funny look.


M: Hair dye is another word for hair coloring. I'm probably going to start coloring my hair. What color hair do you want Mommy to have?
K: This color. (holding up a lock of my own hair)
M: Well, that may be pretty difficult to find that color, since Mommy's hair is a lot of different colors (mostly brown, but blond and red also). You know, mommy can color her hair A N Y color.
K: If you can color your hair any color, then I want your hair to be PINK!


Only if I lose a bet, honey. But then again, I did open my big mouth...